


Kiss me breathless

by mairyleo



Series: Romantic fics [13]
Category: British Actor RPF, Eddie the Eagle (2016), Kingsman (Movies) RPF, Rocketman (2019) RPF, Taron Egerton - Fandom, Welsh Actor RPF
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Family Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, French Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gentle Kissing, Happy Ending, Kissing, London, Making Out, Romantic Fluff, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23040556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairyleo/pseuds/mairyleo
Summary: I became a mom really young and ran away. The father of my son didn't stay though which makes me a single mom.Then I meet a man I completely forgot about, a man that used to be my best friend: Taron.He supports me no matter what and I realise what we have is more than just a friendshipChapter 4 losely based on song lyrics Leave Me Breathless by The Corrs.Contains smut.
Relationships: Taron Egerton/Original Female Character(s), Taron Egerton/Reader, Taron Egerton/You
Series: Romantic fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601989
Kudos: 12





	1. Going back and being scared

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: cursing, smut

I packed the rest of our things into the car and walked inside to call my son again.

“Jacob! Are you ready?” I glanced at my watch.

“I’m coming” he called and I saw him walk downstairs.

I smiled. There wasn’t one day in his life I could ever be mad at him for being late.

We got into the car. It would take us a while to get to Aberystwyth and I dreaded going back. I had no choice though, I didn’t want to miss my grandad’s funeral.

I was sad about him passing away, but most of all I was nervous about my past haunting me there.

I grew up there. A lot of my friends still lived there but not all of them were friends.

I became a mom really young at age 18. It drastically changed my life and suddenly my dreams weren’t so important anymore. The only thing that really mattered was Jacob and he would always be my number one priority.

Jacob’s dad Caleb had been as young as I had been. I would hate to refer to him as a mistake because without him I wouldn’t have Jacob.

He left when things got though, and I wasn’t sure I could even blame him for not being able to handle it. The first few years, I stressed out pretty much and I wouldn’t have survived without my parents and friends helping me. I hadn’t been back there for a while, because it just didn’t do me any good. I started fresh in London and luckily had found friends there that supported me.

“When are we there?” Jacob whined.

I smiled “I think you know this better than I do”

I gestured over to him playing some game on his phone.

He typed away on it until he proudly announced “Only 30 minutes left”

“Perfect” I smiled and ruffled my hand through my son’s hair.

“Heey” he yelled and shoved me off.

Here was to the teenage years rolling around.

We reached my parent’s place and I parked the car on their carport. I opened the boot of the car and saw Jacob run to my dad and they hugged.

Well he needed a father figure after all. I wasn’t sure my dad was the best person for the job, but I had issues trusting men ever since I was 18. I hadn’t even tried to date, it just wasn’t worth it.

My parents came to visit us in London regularly to see her grandson growing up and I loved them for it. They would never understand why I hated to be back in Aber, but they had accepted it.

“Hey darling” my mom walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

I had missed her, but at the same time I hated to be here “Hi mom”

“How was traffic?” my dad asked as he took my suitcase from me and I took Jacob’s travel bag.

“It was good” I let out a breath “Not much traffic”

Jacob and I stayed in the guest bedroom. I unpacked our things while Jacob was downstairs with my parents and looked around the room.

My parents had refurbished it, but it had been my bedroom when I was younger. Suddenly images of more than 10 years ago flooded my mind and I tried to push them out of my mind. No such luck though.

I inhaled deeply and luckily my phone rang and distracted me

“Hello?” I answered

“Hi it’s me” my friend Caroline said “How are you?”

I smiled lightly. She knew me and all of my deepest darkest secrets.

“Could be better I guess” I let out a sigh “But overall things are good”

“You can tell me, you know?” she said.

I sat down on the bed and thought about it “I don’t know. It’s just weird to be back here, in my old bedroom with all these memories I –“

My voice failed to continue

“I can imagine” she said quietly “Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? I’m sure everything will be fine”

“I hope so” I said, my voice breaking.

We had dinner together that night and luckily my parents didn’t bother asking me how I felt being back here. I didn’t blame them and I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Jacob either.

The next day rolled around and Jacob and I dressed up all in black. I had decided to bring one of my black dresses I hadn’t worn in ages. Luckily it was quite warm for May and the sun was shining.

My parents, Jacob and I headed over to the graveyard together. I really wasn’t looking forward to meeting my aunts and uncles and the rest of the family though. They had always pretended to have the perfect life and judged me for my own, I hated it.

I tried to concentrate on my son and properly say goodbye to my grandad the best I could. He seemed to have always understood what I had felt like. He had always told me things would fall into place eventually. Thinking back at it, I loved him for saying it, but I didn’t believe it would ever be true.

I was emotional before the funeral service had even started. Jacob had met my grandad too, of course, but they hadn’t really gotten to know each other and I guessed that was how it was supposed to be.

Heck, I was 28 years old, I might not even be a mom yet under other circumstances.

I was glad Jacob had gotten to know him, even if he barely remembered it.

The priest talked about how wonderful and caring my grandad was and how hard it had been for him that his wife, my gran, died before him. Guilt panged through me that I wasn’t there for him like he was for me. But then he had always insisted on me staying in London and enjoying my life how it was.

“Mom?” my son next to me whispered “Are you okay?”

I glanced over to Jacob sitting next to me and only then realise my vision got blurry. I wiped the tears out from under my eyes and lightly smiled at him.

“Yes” I said “I just miss your great-grandad”

He looked down and I was ashamed I couldn’t keep it together in front of my son “I wish I had known him better”

I looked at him and sometimes felt there were some bits inside of him that he got from my grandad.

We all walked out of the chapel together and Jacob got talking with his cousins. I let him be, I didn’t want him to be sad.

We walked towards the grave and stood there as they lowered the urn into the grave. I hugged my mom tightly as she sobbed, it had been her dad after all.

I let go of her when my eyes landed on a man, standing a bit off from the rest of the group, dressed in a black suit and tie.

It was Taron.

I took in a sharp breath and smiled as his eyes landed on mine. We had been best friends for as long as I could remember when we were young, but we lost contact when I ran off. I never had the guts to tell him I was a mom, I didn’t know if he even knew by now.

Was he here for me?

Probably not. Because I was sure he blamed me for ruining our friendship. And he was right to do so.

He looked back at me, smiling ever so lightly as he stood there with his hands shoved into his suits pockets. He looked so much like the young, boyish Taron I remembered. But there was something about him standing there like that, all grown up and in a suit that looked awfully expensive that had me shivering.

I dragged my eyes away from him to focus on the funeral, before we all left for the funeral feast eventually.

I watched Taron express his condolences to my mom and I wondered if our two families had remained close without me noticing.

Because over 10 years ago, Taron and I spend almost every day together.

Thinking back now, I wished Taron was Jacob’s dad more than anything else.

I pushed that thought out of my mind before it could get stuck there.

Every step seemed to take forever until I reached him.

“Hi” I said quietly, nervously.

“Michelle” he whispered as if he didn’t quite believe I was standing there.

Nobody had called me that in ages, I mostly went under Elle nowadays. But there was a familiarity in him calling me by my old nickname that had me shaking to the bone.

“Hey Taron” I smiled.

He shook his head ever so slightly before pulling me into a hug.

It was as if it was just the two of us for those few seconds and the way he held me to him let all my walls crumble down. The power he still had over me after all these years seemed surreal.

“I’m sorry for your loss” he said eventually when we let go of each other.

We still stood close, our bodies almost touching as if we both didn’t want to let each other go just yet.

I inhaled shakily “Thank you”

I wanted to know if he was there for me more than anything, but it would be selfish of me to ask. I much rather needed to apologise.

“Mom? Who’s that?” Jacob asked next to me.

I glanced at Jacob, then at Taron.

Taron’s eyes went wide as he stared at Jacob and then his eyes lingered on me.

I gulped “Jacob, meet an old friend from my childhood Taron. Taron this is my son Jacob”

“Nice to meet you” Jacob said, pretending to be all grown up.

Taron chuckled and I could swear he lost his composure for a moment. Had he still not known after all these years?

“Nice to meet you too, Jacob” Taron said and I watched the two of them together as my heart raced.

“Do you want to come to the funeral feast, Taron?” my mom asked him.

My heart skipped a beat and it was as if Taron was taken aback by the question

“Thank you Mrs. Collins, but I don’t want to intrude” he said, ever so polite.

I glanced at him for a split second while he was focused on my mom. Close up he looked so different than I remembered. He had always referred to himself as the chubby kid but he didn’t look like that at all anymore. He looked broadly shouldered and way more self-confident.

“Please Taron” my mom said quietly “Call me Alice”

What was even going on here?

“I’m sure Taron is busy” I said quietly.

Taron looked at me, his eyes staying fixated on mine “I’m not actually”

I had missed looking into his unique greenish brownish eyes and feeling safe when I did.

“Well then I would love to have you there” my mom said before I could respond.


	2. Reunion and surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taron and I talk. Let's see what comes to the surface there.

Jacob was off with his cousins he hadn’t seen in ages and I was glad he didn’t get as depressed as I felt.

We reached the funeral feast venue after what seemed to take forever. Taron was walking next to me and none of us spoke a word. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him. But first and foremost, I wanted to apologise for ruining our friendship over what seemed silly.

I didn’t want everyone to have a listen to our conversation though.

I sat down at one of the tables and looked around to find Taron still standing next to that table.

“Can I sit here?” he asked and gestured to the chair to my left.

I frowned. Why did he ask?

“Of course”

He hesitated for a split-second before getting out of his suit jacket and sitting down.

“It’s quite warm for May” he spoke

I watched him as he rolled up his shirt sleeves.

Quite warm indeed.

How did he look like _that_ nowadays?

My mind was off and I would kill my mother for inviting Taron. I hadn’t seen him in over 10 years. I didn’t want to go back to how things were when we were young, but I also didn’t want to treat him like a stranger.

“So, Taron” my mom started “I see you’re a quite the successful actor now”

I blinked a few times. What in the world was she talking about?

I glanced over at Taron to find him shrugging and smiling ever so lightly.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it all _successful_ ” he said nonchalantly “But yes, I’m an actor”

How had I not known that?

“Don’t you live in London like Elle?” my mom gestured over to me.

I was waiting for the earth to open up and swallow me whole. Why was she asking him so many questions?

Taron chuckled “I do live in London most of the time even though I have to travel quite often”

He looked over to me and his eyes were so intense I had to look away.

“I didn’t know Michelle lived in London too” he continued.

I exhaled and frantically thought about something to say.

“Yeah” I said, my voice low “I’ve lived there for a while now”

“Elle left after –“ my mom started but I shot her a glare and she stopped.

It wasn’t her story to tell. It was mine.

Taron looked between me and my mom, utterly confused.

I sighed. I couldn’t handle this right now.

“I better check on Jacob” I said and got up from the table.

I walked outside to find him playing football together with his cousin. I sat down on a bench and watched them. I would love to be as carefree and fearless as I was at their age. I closed my eyes in a long blink thinking back to these times when all was well.

Taron and I had practically been inseparable.

How could I ever have cut him out of my life like that?

“Michelle” I jumped when I heard Taron behind me.

I looked over to Jacob, not wanting him to see me as weak as I felt. They were too occupied having fun to notice though.

Taron sat down next to me and I glanced at him.

I inhaled “I should apologise”

He furrows his brows ever so lightly “Why?”

Did he not remember?

He looked down as I spoke.

“Because I cut you out of my life without any explanation. And I’m truly sorry for that”

He looked up at me from under his lashes and my heart jumped.

How could he even make me feel this way?

“You don’t need to give me any explanation” he said quietly “Your son is the most important thing in your life and I’m glad you’re happy with your family”

Now I was the one who frowned. What was he talking about?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He looked at me as if it was obvious “You’ve started your own family and I’m happy for you”

“I have” I said slowly, still not quite understanding what he meant “but being a single mom isn’t always easy even though I wouldn’t want to change it”

_You can’t change the past, you can only change the present._

Taron’s eyes shot to mine and I saw confusion there.

Had he thought I was happy with a husband and a son? That wasn’t the truth and it would never be the case.

“I’m sorry” he said slowly “I thought you – you’re –“

He seemed as speechless as I felt.

“Did you really not know?” I asked him.

I just had to know.

He furrowed his brows “Know that you had a son?” he asked “No”

I raised my eyebrows “I’m sorry. I thought you found out eventually. News travels fast in Aber”

Taron shrugged “I’m not here as often as I wish I’d be”

“Well” I sighed “I’m sorry you found out this way”

He looked into my eyes and it was as if he knew me better than I knew myself, even after all these years.

“It’s good to see you again, Michelle” he said quietly.

I gulped “You too”

Jacob and his cousins kicked the football our way – I guessed by accident – and I didn’t even realise until Taron got up and laughed.

“Let me show you how you play properly”

I watched him play with them, in absolute awe. How could I fall for my former best friend in a matter of seconds?

I tried to shake it off me and walked to the bathroom.

Maybe I was the biggest liar of them all.

Why had I not told Taron of all people?

Why had I not wanted him to know?

I headed back to the table and downed a cup of coffee. Not one of my finer moments but it wasn’t like I could get drunk.

“Are you all right, darling?” my mom asked me worriedly.

I gulped “Yes. It’s just been a tough few days”

My mom nodded sympathetically. “I know dear”

“I’m sorry for whining” I said as I looked at her.

I had only lost my grandad. But it had been her dad.

“Don’t worry” she smiled lightly “We know you don’t like to come back here”

_Wait what?_

“And we understand that. You shouldn’t let Caleb stop you from loving another man ever again”

My heart jumped at her words.

“I agree with your mom on this” my dad said.

I blinked a few times. How could they say that?

I gulped. “I know. But I just can’t”

Then I thought of Taron. And how I watched him play with my son. I would love for him to take the place of Jacob’s father. But chances would be higher I would win the lottery.

“I think we’ll need to get going soon” I said quietly.

“Sure” my dad said “I’ll drive you home”

I exhaled and looked for Jacob. He wasn’t happy to go but I promised him he could see his cousins again tomorrow.

We walked to my parents’ car and I saw Taron pacing around the parking lot.

What was he doing around here?

“It was good to see you, Taron” my dad said to him.

Taron almost seemed relieved.

“Thank you” he said hesitantly “You too”

“Can Taron come play with us tomorrow too?” Jacob asked.

My heart skipped a beat “You’ll have to ask Taron that”

He smiled “I’d love to if you’ll have me”

He looked at my son, then at me. Had he always looked at me that way or was I just imagining things now?

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked me quietly.

I saw hope in his eyes. What was he expecting me to say?

“Uh sure” I said and looked over to my dad and Jacob “I’ll be right there”

Taron and I walked over a few feet and I watched my dad and Jacob get in the car. Then I looked at Taron and found him watching me.

I was waiting for him to speak.

“Can we talk about what happened?” he asked quietly.

If I could still tell his emotions from when he was younger, something was seriously bothering him.

I shrugged and let out a breath “I don’t know Taron”

“Please” he said quickly “It won’t take long”

“All right” I gave in to him “But I can’t right now”

I glanced over to the car.

“Okay” Taron said “How about on the beach where we used to go to? Let’s say at 7?”

I glanced at my watch. It was almost 5 now.

“Okay, see you then” I said.

I walked past him and got into the car, finding Taron still watching me as we drove off.

My dad drove back to the venue to pick up my mom later that day and I got ready to meet Taron. My heart jumped at the thought of meeting him at the beach, probably watching the sunset, one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Yet, I wouldn’t meet quite anyone there.

Somehow it was our spot. The place where we used to go to all the time.

I thanked my parents for watching over my son once again and made my way to the beach. It was a bit chilly now and I was glad I had brought my jeans jacket but I wasn’t sure it would be thick enough.

I let out a sigh once I reached the beach and listened to the waves crashing to shore.

I sat down on the sand and focused on that sound. Everything seemed good, even if it was just for a moment.

“Hey” I heard Taron walk towards me from the right, before he sat down next to me.

“Hi” I smiled.

He felt so familiar, even though we hadn’t spoken for the last 10 years.

“Is Jacob in bed yet?” he asked.

I laughed “No. He’s 10. So he goes to bed around 10”

Taron’s lips slightly curved upwards “Sorry. I rarely take Marie or Rosie to bed”

I frowned. Did he have children? My heart sank.

“My mom got married again. And I have two little sisters” he sounded excited.

“Oh my God” I giggled “I had no clue. How old are they?”

“4 and 6” he said proudly.

“I’m sure you’re a great –“ I stopped myself from saying _dad_ “a great brother”

Taron’s eyes sparkled. I was sure he was great with kids. And seeing how he acted around my son had me even more certain of that.

“Yeah” he drew out the word.

None of us spoke for a while as we both watched the sun set and the waves reaching the sand.

It didn’t even feel odd to sit there with him. It felt like the best thing that happened to me in a while, reuniting with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked quietly

My heart jumped. How would I reply to that if I didn’t even know why I did what I did myself?

“You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal” he continued.

I glanced over at him and he was looking straight at the sea. His jawline seemed sharper than ever.

“I don’t know to be honest” I let out a breath.

“It’s okay” Taron shrugged “I’m just sorry I couldn’t be there for you”

He moved his head and his eyes focused on mine.

My heart leaped. I would love to make more of the situation than it was but that wouldn’t be fair.

“Don’t be sorry” I said quietly “It was my choice. And even though Caleb was the wrong choice, I wouldn’t change it for the world because I got Jacob”

Taron stared at me “Caleb?”

It was then that I remembered they didn’t really get on in school. Why was that anyway?

“Yeah” I couldn’t meet his eyes “He’s Jacob’s dad. And he left pretty early on”

 _Pretty early on_ was an understatement.

“What the fuck!” Taron called.

I glanced over at him, surprised at his reaction as he ran his hand through his hair.

I shrugged “I can’t really blame him”

Taron looked back at me and I could tell he was mad. I almost flinched.

“Shit Michelle” he said, as if he felt hopeless “That’s not right”

Suddenly I felt sad. Of course it hadn’t been right for him to leave, but who knew – maybe it was for the best. But Taron was the only one who showed me that sympathy, as if he totally understood what I was going through.

“I made my peace with it. It was a long time ago”

I heard Taron exhale.

What was I supposed to feel? I was confused. Why was he so mad?

“You don’t need to be mad. He didn’t do anything to you”

I put my hand on his shoulder before I could stop myself. It was firmer than I had expected it to be.

His eyes met mine and my belly flipped.

“You don’t understand” he said quietly “I told him to stay away from you years ago”


	3. Take a leap and jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See where things go!

I blinked. What was he talking about?

“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice shaking.

He pressed his lips together. “He treated you like shit, Michelle”

Looking at it now, I knew Taron was right.

But why had he made it his mission to keep Caleb away from me?

“Why did you tell him to stay away from me though?” my whole body was tense just waiting for his reaction.

He looked at me then and I knew there was more.

I shivered.

He inhaled and exhaled deeply before speaking “I thought you knew how I felt”

How he felt?

I was having goose bumps and reached over my arm to stroke it.

“I didn’t know” I spoke quietly “In fact I still don’t”

“Don’t worry about it” he said quietly and I watched him gulp “You moved on. But that doesn’t make it right what Caleb did”

“Of course not” I said quickly “but that’s how things are now”

“Do you know where he is?” Taron looked at me intently “Does he take care of Jacob?”

I looked down and I didn’t think I was ready to say it. And Taron wasn’t ready to hear it.

“He doesn’t, does he?” he asked, his voice hard.

I shook my head as emotions overcame me and I had to fight back crying.

“Hey” he said softly and lay his arm around me.

I lay my head on his shoulder and started sobbing. It felt so good to finally let it all go, tell him everything.

Taron pulled me closer to him and I let him. I felt safe in his arms and I always would.

My mind wandered to that alternate universe in which Taron and I had children and he was the best dad anyone could hope for. We certainly would be madly in love.

“I’m sorry” I sniffled eventually and sat up next to him again.

“Don’t be” he said quietly.

“I ruined your jumper” I laughed, looking at his blue jumper with smeared mascara on

Taron smiled “That’s the last thing I’m worried about”

We didn’t speak for a while as we just sat there and Taron still had his arm around my waist. I finally felt like I could breathe again.

I eventually started to shiver and Taron glanced over to me.

“Come on, I’ll take you home”

He got up and held out his hand for me to help me up.

I took it and my skin burned where he touched me.

We walked towards my parents place and I felt like the tension between us changed.

“You’re an actor eh?” I smiled.

He looked over at me “Did you really not know?”

I shrugged “I guess there are a lot of things we don’t know about each other”

His eyes lingered on mine for a second before he focused on the pavement again.

“Perhaps we can find out” he said quietly.

We reached my parents place and I nodded.

“Sure. Are you still up for playing football tomorrow?” I laughed.

Taron looked at me, amused “I’d love to”

“Okay” I smiled “See you then”

I didn’t expect for Taron to pull me into a hug but he did. I breathed him in and felt like I was falling. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever.

“Thank you for being honest with me” he whispered quietly but didn’t let go of me.

I felt like my nerves would explode any second “Thank you for being there for me”

He let go of me and looked into my eyes searchingly “Always”

He kissed me on the cheek and I sucked in a breath. I enjoyed this way more than I should.

“Good night” he whispered before turning around, leaving me standing there all breathless.

I unlocked the door and walked inside my parents house to find them watching me.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?” my mom asked.

I realised I was caressing my cheek where Taron had kissed me.

“Yes I’m fine” I said but I felt my voice was still quivering.

“Jacob is upstairs getting ready for bed” my dad said.

“Thank you” I smiled “Have a good night”

“You too honey” my mom said.

I walked upstairs to find Jacob in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. I did the same and removed my makeup before we cuddled up in bed together. My son was my world.

The next day rolled around and Taron picked us up bright and early. I hadn’t expected him to be that engaged in this, after watching him being so mad yesterday. But he was mad at Jacob’s biological father and not us, so there was that.

I watched them play football together and the more I watched them, the more I could actually imagine Taron being his actual dad. It was becoming more and more difficult shaking these thoughts. Good thing was we returned to London later that day and maybe it was for the best to say goodbye to Taron too. I didn’t want him to have to face all the issues I dealt with every day, working and still taking good care of my kid.

Jacob seemed totally smitten with Taron and it made it even harder.

“Should we swap numbers?” Taron asked, out of breath after they had finished playing.

I glanced at him in a white shirt and damn tight jeans. Who wore jeans that tight to play football?

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea” I said, looking down.

“Why?” Taron breathed out.

He was making me loose all self-control “We’re leaving for London today”

He just shrugged “I’ll be back there in two days’ time too”

I blinked and exhaled “I don’t want you to have to deal with my difficult life”

Taron frowned “Friends are always there for each other, no matter what”

My heart sank. Friends?

“Okay” I sighed “Why don’t we meet up in London then?”

“Perfect” Taron smiled and gave me his number.

Then he gestured and mouthed _Call me_.

I laughed.

I met up with my friend Caroline a few days later. It was my day off and Jacob was still in school.

“You’re telling me you’re in love with your best friend?” Caroline practically yelled

“Shhh” I shushed her as I looked around the place “I wouldn’t exactly call it that”

“Then what would you call it?”

I exhaled. I didn’t really know.

“I don’t know” I said “I wouldn’t even consider us best friends anymore. I mean we didn’t talk for 10 years for crying out loud”

“That doesn’t have to change a thing if there is chemistry there” she wiggled her eyebrows.

I had to laugh “I never felt that way about Taron”

“But?” she raised her eyebrows before taking a sip of her coffee.

“But –“ I sighed “Something has changed”

“And you told him everything?” she asked.

I shrugged “Yeah. I just felt like I could trust him”

Caroline didn’t respond so I looked up from my glass of chai latte.

“What?” I asked worriedly.

“That sounds really good, Elle!” she said quietly.

I didn’t think I had ever seen her that quiet before.

“But I come with a lot of baggage” I said. I didn’t regret it but it was true.

“I told you it won’t matter when the right man comes along” she smiled.

I thought about it. Was Taron the right man for me?

“So, did he come to the funeral for you?” she asked.

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn’t even thought of that.

“I don’t know” I answered truthfully. “But –“

I shivered thinking back what he had said to me that night at the beach.

Caroline looked at me like she would jump over the table if I didn’t continue.

“He said –“ I exhaled “He thought I knew how he felt”

She gaped at me “How he felt about –“ she paused “about you?”

I shivered at the thought “I don’t know”

“I have never seen you so clueless before” she smiled “That’s a good sign”

I was unsure “You think?”

“What is stopping you from kissing his brains out?” she asked.

“Caroline!” I called.

“What?” she laughed “Maybe that will convince you”

I was all flustered just thinking about kissing Taron.

“I’ll think about it” I said quietly.

“Elle! You think too much! You should just act for once”

Well, I did overthink too much. But I didn’t want to confuse Jacob by brining different men home. I told Caroline.

“That’s not different men. That’s one man. And he’s the right one”

I smiled. She was always so positive about everything.

I was waiting for Jacob to leave the school when I decided to ring Taron.

“Hello?” he answered on the second ring.

I smiled at hearing his voice again. Why could I not get a grip? It had only been a few days.

“Hi it’s me” I said “Michelle”

He chuckled.

Urgh, I was acting weird.

“I was wondering if you would want to come by our place sometime” I continued.

My heart was beating out of my chest.

“Sure” he said nonchalantly “I would be free –“ he hesitated for a second “for lunch tomorrow?” he asked.

“Sounds good” I smiled “I’ll cook something”

“Okay” Taron said “Text me the address and can’t wait to see you then”

I was so happy to see him again. What had even gotten into me?

“Will do. See you tomorrow, Taron”


	4. Breathless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few twists and turns that will surely leave you… breathless :)
> 
> This are the lyrics: https://www.metrolyrics.com/breathless-lyrics-the-corrs.html

I didn’t really know if I should tell Jacob that Taron was coming over. But since he proudly announced he would go over to our neighbour I was kind of relieved. Emma was really nice and her son, Brad was one year older than Jacob was.

I decided to cook lasagne since it was a pretty chilly day for mid-May and waited for Taron to ring the bell. Just as I put the lasagne in the oven the bell rang and I jumped.

I ran downstairs to open the door for him since we didn’t have a buzzer and was taken aback by how beautiful Taron looked. Or was it just me?

He was dressed in dark grey jeans and a blue shirt and a cardigan. That casual look almost threw me off more than when he was wearing suits. Look wise he seriously had nothing in common with that little boy I once knew.

“Hi” I smiled, hoping he didn’t catch me checking him out.

“Hey” he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.

He had always been a hugger but something about his hugs was more intense now.

“Come on in” I smiled and stepped aside.

We walked up to the first floor and I had a look into the oven.

“The lasagne should be ready soon”

“I love what you did to the place” Taron said as he looked around “And it’s a great area too”

I was glad about that topic because I already felt really nervous.

“Thank you” I smiled.

It was an old building but the furniture was new, trying to underline the style of the old touches. The kitchen was small but had all the essentials and we had two bedrooms, a bathroom and a small living room.

The flat was in West London which generally was safer than the East. Primrose Hill and playgrounds were nearby which had been an advantage when Jacob had been younger.

“Where do you live?” I asked.

Taron smiled “Not far from here actually. Hampstead”

I raised my eyebrows. That neighbourhood was really nice, but also crazy expensive.

“You must be quite rich then” I laughed.

Taron chuckled “Money isn’t what really counts in life”

I pointed my finger at him “You know only rich people say that, right?”

He laughed and my belly flipped at hearing his sincere low but also boyish laugh.

The alarm went off and I got the lasagne from the oven.

“I hope you’re hungry” I said to Taron.

He glanced around “Is Jacob joining us?”

“No, he’s actually at a friend’s place next door”

Taron furrowed his brows and I focused on the lasagne and put it onto two plates.

“Is that safe?” he asked.

I smiled “Yes, of course. I know the friend and his mom”

I handed Taron a plate and we sat down at the dining table in the kitchen.

Why was he worried about my son though?

“Sure, sorry” he smiled lightly.

Then he pointed to the lasagne “This smells delicious”

“Well it’s Jacob’s favourite food. And I’m proud to say my cooking skills developed with time” I laughed.

I had never considered myself a great cook.

Taron looked at me for a second before focusing on the lasagne again. It was pretty hot though.

“This is really good” he murmured, trying not to burn his tongue with what he had just shoved into his mouth.

_Talking about his tongue…_

I laughed “I see you didn’t change all that much”

Taron smiled after gulping down the hot bit of lasagne “What makes you say that?”

“Mhhh, let me think” I playfully rolled my eyes “You have always loved food and you’re still as kind and humble as I remember”

But he was definitely sexy. And I had never considered him that when we were young.

Taron smiled lightly and my heart jumped when his eyes dropped to my lips for a split second.

“I could say the same thing about you” he said in a low voice.

“Me?” I smiled “I’d say I changed drastically”

Taron looked at me intently and I had to fight back a shiver.

“I wouldn’t say that” he said calmly “Not for the people who really know you”

I was starting to blush. What made him say that?

“You pretend to be that strong, independent single mom and I admire you for it” he started, never looking away “but there is another side you don’t show just anyone”

He really had the possibility to look right through me, eh?

“You know me too well” I joked.

He smiled lightly before focusing on his plate again.

What had he meant with what he said? Was I such an open book?

We finished the lasagne and Taron helped me clean up. It had me wondering if there was one thing he wasn’t good at. Maybe he wasn’t a good kisser. But somehow, I highly doubted that.

“Thanks for your help” I smiled after we had cleaned the dishes.

“Well thanks for inviting me” he smiled back.

“Would you like a tea or -?” Why did I feel so unsure all of the sudden?

“Tea is fine” he said and looked at me as if he was trying to figure out why I was acting weird.

I put the kettle on and we sat down on the couch together. I didn’t really know what to say.

“What’s wrong?” he asked eventually.

I met his eyes and my belly flipped “I had a weird day”

It wasn’t a lie. My heart had been racing all day. And it seemed to still pick up speed.

Taron didn’t meet my eyes when he spoke “I don’t think that’s it”

There was a knock on the door and I jumped. Anyone outside this building would ring the bell so it had to be Emma.

“Sorry, I’ll be back in a sec” I said to Taron and walked over to the flat door.

I opened the door to find Emma standing there. I could immediately tell that something was up.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, worried to my every bone.

“Jacob isn’t feeling well. He threw up a few times and I don’t know if he has the flu”

Oh no.

“Oh well, let me get him”

We crossed the hall and walked into Emma’s flat, finding Jacob laying on the couch.

“Come here, buddy” I picked him up in my arms and he grumbled.

“Thank you Emma, I’ll keep you posted”

If he really had the flu, they could get it too.

“I hope he will be better soon! Let me know if you need anything” she said sympathetically.

“Will do. Thank you” I smiled at her before she closed the door and I walked over to my flat.

“What’s wrong?” I found Taron standing in the hallway.

He looked worried when he saw me carrying Jacob and took him from me as if he weighted nothing. Actually I was fixated on his arms for a second. How was he so muscular?

“I can do that, you don’t have to –“ my voice was uneven.

“I want to” he interrupted me “So, what next?”

“Let’s carry him to his bedroom and I’ll get a bucket in case he has to throw up again”

I glanced at Taron carrying my son and my mind ran wild. I had to be focused though.

“I don’t feel so good mom” he whined.

“I’m so sorry buddy. I’m sure you’ll feel better soon”

I put the kettle on again and got a bucket from the storage room.

“How are you feeling?” I asked my son as I got into his room.

Taron was standing on the side, worry written all over his face and having shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. He looked like he didn’t know what to do.

“Not so good” Jacob whispered.

“I’ll bring you a cup of tea in a sec and then try to sleep a bit okay?” I brushed the hair out of his face and lay my hand on his forehead. He had no fever, thank God.

Taron followed me out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He looked more worried than I felt.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.

I looked at him and his eyes were so sincere.

I smiled “No. You might want to leave, this could be a long night” I sighed.

“I’d love to stay and help you” he said, determined.

“Thank you” I smiled “Hopefully he will drink the tea and go to sleep. Might have just been something he ate or maybe he is growing”

Jacob drank a bit of tea and I sat on the bed next to him. He seemed fine though. He fell asleep and I let out a sigh as I walked into the living room.

“How is he?” Taron asked.

“I think he will be fine” I let out a breath.

“Thank God” Taron said.

I frowned “Why are you so worried?”

Taron glanced at me, then looked down at the floor. “I don’t know. I –“

He exhaled “You’re important to me so he’s important to me too”

I smiled lightly “Thank you, Taron”

I didn’t have many friends I could rely on.

“No problem” he smiled.

I felt like there was something he wasn’t telling me. But I wasn’t completely honest either.

“About earlier” I started “I didn’t give you an answer”

Taron put his hand on my knee and my eyes shot up to his. My heart was racing yet again. It seemed to be a thing when he was around. I let out a shaky breath.

“Don’t worry about it” he said slowly.

“There is something I wanted to ask you” I said and my nerve endings were already running wild.

“Sure” he shrugged.

I paused. Was I really ready to ask it?

“When you –“ I exhaled “at the beach when you said you thought you knew how I felt” I said, afraid to meet his eyes “What did you mean?”

“Michelle” he exhaled, running his hands over his face

The way he said my name had my whole body tingling.

“I thought it was pretty obvious” he said quietly.

“Not to me” I said.

Whatever he meant I needed to hear him say it.

“Look at me” he whispered.

I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. It was as if he was laying his entire feelings bare. No barriers, not pretending.

He was taking my breath away. It was as if time was standing still as we looked at each other.

He reached up and cupped my face in one of his hands and I closed my eyes. The slightest touch of him and I felt weak.

“I cannot lie. And I can’t hide this anymore” he whispered. “Can’t fight it. Not since I saw you again”

I looked into his eyes and they flickered between mine. He was waiting for my reaction.

“You leave me breathless” I said quietly, meaning every word I said.

“We might have been friends in the past but this –“ I gulped “I can’t deny this”

Taron nodded “Me too”

“But I’m –“ I didn’t really know how to put it into words “I’m not sure I can do this”

“Why?” Taron asked immediately.

His eyebrows were in waves and his lips slightly parted. His features were indescribably beautiful.

I shrugged and could feel myself getting all emotional. I knew I could trust Taron, but still something kept me from taking this further.

“I’m scared” I whispered.

“I’m scared too” he said quietly, looking into my eyes oh so deeply. “But that’s life”

“All we have is here and now” he continued “And I’m happy just to have you here with me”

He laughed sarcastically “I thought that would never happen to be honest”

I looked at him and he seemed so hurt. Had he really loved me for years and I had just broken off every connection we had? How could I have been so blind?

“I’m so sorry, Taron” I said, my voice breaking “If I would have known –“

“We can’t change the past” he said as he cupped my lower lip with his thumb, I hadn’t even realised I had been biting it.

“But we can change the present and the future” he continued.

I simply gaped at this beautiful man who was so much more mature than I was.

And so full of love. Love for me.

“Taron” I whispered on exhale and he leant in closer.

He kissed me on the cheek and lingered there. My blood was boiling in my veins. I was longing for his kiss more than anything. He pulled away ever so slowly, waiting for me to stop him.

I put my hand on his neck and stopped him from moving away.

He smiled ever so lightly and we both moved in until our lips touched.

This felt like a dream and I was so thankful I wasn’t sleeping. I never wanted to wake up. His lips were raspy as they moved against mine and my mind just went blank. I loved this feeling. I had never been kissed like that and yet we still kept the kiss soft.

I sighed when he pulled me closer ever so lightly and I opened my mouth for him.

_Next level._

He groaned as he took full advantage, dipping his tongue into my mouth and I felt like I would faint any second. I threaded my hands through his hair and our tongues pushed against each other.

This was heaven.

I wanted this to last forever. All my fears and worries flew out of the window. I had been scared to trust any man ever again but it had been foolish of me to build these walls. I had tried to control everything for too long and now I was finally giving up control.

And it never felt better.

His lips moved down my neck ever so slowly and my breath hitched. He left me breathless.

He moved his lips off me and I opened my eyes in confusion.

Taron smiled happily and that right there was sweeter than any kiss ever could be. Seeing him so happy about having me did things to me I couldn’t quite explain.

“Kiss me breathless, Taron” I whispered, out of breath, my chest heaving.

He raised one eyebrow. His lips brushed against mine but it wasn’t really a kiss. He was teasing me. I whimpered, waiting for him to kiss me full force. I felt like my whole body was shaking when he pressed his lips to mine for real. I breathed deeply, in sensory overload.

My arms were around his shoulders as he tilted his head and we deepened the kiss. I furrowed my brows and sighed, not quite understanding what he was doing to me and how he did it.

He brushed a stray of hair out of my face and it had me wondering if he kept his eyes open during the kiss. I didn’t have time to find out as our kiss went from zero to a thousand in a heartbeat I moaned into his mouth. One of his hands curved under my jaw and he wrapped the other one around my waist.

We were touching like lovers. He moved my body as if I weighted nothing so I was straddling him, his hips against mine, his lips against mine. I gasped.

His fingers dug into my waist and my heart stopped beating for a second but none of us actually wanted to break that kiss. His mouth was hungry and impatient while being thorough, as if we had to make up for lost time. He groaned and the sound of him losing his mind just like I was losing mine had me lightheaded.

How could I not have realised he had lips like that before? Skills like that? This kiss was going to ruin me. It was all I would ever be able to think about.

I lost all coherent thoughts and I could feel my lips starting to ache. Our kisses turned hungrier and deeper and I felt like I couldn’t take any more but my body seemed to be able. Actually, my body seemed to want even more. I was ready to kiss him until the sun came up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. Feelings overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would have been too easy for them to end up in bed right away, right? :)

“Oh Elle” Caroline sighed when I called her.

I ran my hand over my face. This just now had probably been one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

This kiss had been the best of my life. Hell, being around Taron alone was the best time. Yet I had asked him to leave. I could tell he was hurt, but I was too overwhelmed with how he made me feel and needed time to think.

“What did he say?” Caroline asked worriedly.

I sighed “Not much”

“Do you think I blew my one and only chance at happiness?” my heart was breaking at that thought.

“Well –“ Caroline started “From what I can tell he might know you better than you know yourself. He might forgive you for this”

I looked down. What would I do if he didn’t?

“I’m treating him like shit” I said quietly “I don’t even deserve him”

“Don’t say that” she said quickly “We all get overrun by our past sometimes”

I shivered. Nobody in my past had ever made me feel this way. Yet I pushed him away.

I checked on Jacob before going to bed that night. I felt awful as I lay there, trying to fall asleep and failing. I didn’t deserve Taron as it was. I rolled over to my side and my mind wandered back to us kissing. My whole body was on fire just thinking about it. Why had I chickened out? We surely would have ended up in bed if I wouldn’t have broken it off. Or was that why I had asked him to leave?

I woke up the next morning after having slept like crap and first checked in on Jacob. He looked way better than the night before.

“Hey buddy” I ran my hand over his cheek and tried to wake him.

He groaned and slowly opened his eyes “Mom?”

“How are you feeling?” I asked worriedly.

He blinked a few times “Better than yesterday” he stated

That had me relieved.

“Actually can we make pancakes for breakfast?” he asked, all serious.

I had to fight back laughing “I don’t think that’s the best idea. How about some porridge and if you feel good, then we look what we can do for lunch?”

He looked down, not really happy with my reply.

“Okay” he shrugged.

We had breakfast together and got ready to leave for grocery shopping. Jacob decided to play some games on his tablet before and I let him since he had been sick yesterday.

I heard the bell ring as I was about to load the washing machine.

I sighed. I was so relieved Taron had come back.

I walked downstairs and opened the door, smiling brightly.

My heart sank into my boots when I saw it wasn’t Taron standing there.

It was Caleb.

“Hi Michelle” he smiled “You look good”

He hadn’t really changed since I last saw him. He was dressed in baggy khaki pants and a black tee. My heart jumped thinking about I had once loved him.

I gulped “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t you want to invite me in?” he asked cheerfully.

I wasn’t quite so happy about seeing him. What made him turn up on my doorstep after all these years?

“I don’t think so” I replied bluntly, first and foremost thinking of my son. “How did you get this address?”

He crooked his head and I saw a tiny bit of the boy I loved. But it wasn’t enough.

“Does it really matter?” he asked. “I’m here now. And I want to meet my son”

I laughed “You don’t have any right to decide when it’s your time to _meet him_ ”

“But I’m his _dad_ ” his tone was growing more serious.

I had to take a stand on this one. I wouldn’t let him get to me. Not anymore.

“For all I care you never were” I said sternly “You left and that was your choice. Even though you knew you had a son. And you loved me. Or at least you said you did” I laughed ironically.

I saw Emma walk towards the door entry from behind Caleb. She looked at me surprised. I liked her and had told her Jacob’s dad had left us pretty early on but that was it.

She moved past us and I looked at her apologetically.

“I did love you” he tried to reason with me.

I rolled my eyes at him “Really? I don’t think so. You wouldn’t have left if you had.”

“But I’m his dad as much as you’re his mom”

Technically it was true. But I had been there for my son through everything, every sickness, every highlight of his life and his dad was just absent.

“I am here for him while you aren’t” I said “I don’t have anything else to say to you”

I let out a breath and closed the door behind me, leaving Caleb standing outside.

How dare he?

I walked back upstairs to find Jacob was still in his room. Thank God. I tried to shake Caleb off me but there was only so much I could do. I felt like somebody was trying to suffocate me, him turning up after all these years.

I thought of Taron then. Surely, he would never do anything like that. From what I witnessed he loved deeply and would be always there for his family.

I shivered at the thought of Taron being a dad one day.

To children that weren’t mine.

I checked my phone to see a text from Taron. I breathed in relief.

_< <I think I did something pretty stupid last night. Call me when you get this>>_

I frowned. What did he mean?

I heard the bell ring again and I stomped back downstairs without thinking it through. I opened the door and I was just in the right mood to yell.

“I told you you don’t get to see your son, you’re –“

The air left my lungs when I found Taron standing there.

He looked pretty tired and frowned. From what I could tell he was still in yesterday’s clothes.

Oh, dear God, the effects he had on me.

“I’m sorry” I sighed “I thought you were –“

“Caleb?” he asked.

I blinked rapidly. How did he know?

“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice ever so soft.

“Uh sure” I let him in and we walked upstairs.

There were so many questions running through my mind. If they had run into each other on the street. If they had talked.

But when Taron spoke he said something I never expected.

“I went to see Caleb yesterday” he said.

I frowned as I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. How could he ever do that to me? And to my son?

“Why?” I breathed out.

He reached for my hand but I took a step back. He looked hurt and furrowed his brows.

“Why, Taron?” I said quietly as I felt emotions overrunning me.

He exhaled before speaking “I looked him up a few days ago. I wanted to give you his contact details if you ever wanted to meet or contact him” he said quietly

I looked down. I had never wanted to see him again. Maybe when Jacob had been younger, I would have actually debated about whether or not we could still be family if Caleb came back.

But it was too late.

“Never” I sniffled “I didn’t want to ever see –“

I couldn’t finish my sentence.

I didn’t meet Taron’s eyes. I didn’t know why he would do this to me.

“You better go” I said quietly.

“Michelle” it was as if he was begging me and even now, he was still giving me goose bumps

“Let me explain”

I looked at him, meeting his eyes and I wish I hadn’t. His eyes were so sincere, full of love but also hurt. For whatever reason he had contacted Caleb, he thought it had been the right thing to do.

“After you asked me to leave last night –“ he said, his voice uneven “I get that you don’t want to continue whatever we have” he exhaled as if it was paining him to say it.

How wrong he was about that.

“I thought Caleb deserved to be told what an ass he was to you and your son”

He didn’t meet my eyes.

“Thank you for that” I said.

I had mentally slapped Caleb so often I had lost count.

“But you didn’t have to do it. And anyway, I don’t want him back in our lives”

Taron met my eyes again, full of surprise. Why was he surprised?

“I thought you loved him” he said slowly.

I smiled “I did love him once. But –“ I shrugged “I don’t love him anymore. Never again”

If I was sure of anything, I was sure of that.

“What did he say?” Taron asked.

I shrugged “He insisted on seeing Jacob”

Then I remembered. Where did Caleb get my address from?

“Did you tell him where we lived?” I asked quietly.

Taron’s eyebrows shot up “No, of course not. I would never make that choice for you”

I frowned. Where did he get it from then?

“I’m sorry I did that, Michelle” Taron said and reached for my hand.

This time I didn’t pull away and sparks ran through my body as he touched me.

I was so in love with him already, wasn’t I?

“I didn’t want to wake a sleeping dog. I thought he –“ he breathed out “I thought he deserved to be brought to justice for what he did to you”

I smiled lightly. I should have told Caleb all these things years ago. I was relieved I had gotten that off my chest. But surely, he wouldn’t back down now. As if he only found out he was a dad.

“Can you forgive me?” Taron asked, his voice shaking.

I met his eyes again and I was drowing. I wanted to kiss him for standing up for me, for caring so much about me and my son.

But it still didn’t make it right.

“I’ll have to think about it” I whispered.

I didn’t have the guts to speak it out loud.

Taron took a step back and let go of my hand. I immediately missed his touch. Memories of last night came up again and I shivered.

“I understand” he said “Let me know when you made a decision”

With that he turned around to leave and this felt an awful lot like goodbye.

“Wait” I called before I could think about it.

Taron stopped and turned around. He looked like he was about to cry.

I walked towards him and hugged him tight. It took him a split second until he hugged me back and I was breathless again. I inhaled deeply and took in his scent, smelling just like yesterday.


	6. Surprise surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This includes a lot of hurt, but also a lot of truth.

My mind was off the whole day, wondering where Caleb got my address from. I believed Taron that he didn’t give it to him but apart from him only my friends and family knew.

I was falling so hard for the man who used to be my best friend I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. But I knew one thing for certain – that I would protect my son from Caleb.

I decided to ring my parents but they didn’t answer. They were probably out running errands.

I sighed.

I had to get my mind off it. I had learnt that I needed to be a mom first. I helped Jacob with his homework and it distracted me for a while. He was struggling in English and I tried to help him the best I could. But it wasn’t my strong suit either.

My mom called me back later that afternoon when Jacob was out watching a movie with a friend.

“Hi mom” I answered.

“Hi darling” she said “How are you?”

I sighed “I have been better to be honest”

“Oh what happened? Is something wrong with Jacob?”

I smiled lightly. No, Jacob was fine. I was the problem.

“No, he is good. Caleb came by earlier”

It felt weird to even say his name out loud.

“Oh honey, are you all right?” my mom’s voice was so soft and understanding

I was starting to get all emotional.

“I don’t know” I sobbed “I never wanted to see him again after what happened”

“I’m so sorry darling! What did he want?”

I sniffled “He wanted to meet his son”

“Well you know he has a right to meet him” she said.

My sadness was turning into anger “No, he has no right! All he ever did was leave me!”

How could my mom take his side in all of this?

“It wasn’t right that he left” she said “But he is his father”

I groaned “Did you give him my address?”

“No” my mom said quickly “Why would we? He didn’t contact us”

I had thought he might have. But it meant there were less and less people who could have given it to him.

“Okay” I said, still angry and sad at the same time.

Luckily it was the weekend and Jacob was out having fun so I could drown in my feelings for a moment. I just didn’t know what to do. Of course, deep down I knew sooner or later I would have to give in to Caleb meeting his son. But right now, every nerve in my body was shying away from that. He certainly wouldn’t give up trying though.

I scrolled through my phone contacts. But I didn’t really feel like calling anyone.

The next few days flew by in a blur and I nearly jumped out of my skin with nervousness that I might run into Caleb again. Or maybe I should take the next step?

I called Taron after leaving work and picking up Jacob from school.

“Michelle” he answered, as if it was a silent prayer.

I closed my eyes at hearing his voice again.

“Hi Taron” I said, my voice soft but confident “There is something I wanted to ask you”

“Anything” he said as soon as the words had left my mouth.

“What’s his address?” I asked, my voice almost quivering.

The line went silent for a bit and I waited.

“I’ll text you his address” he said and I couldn’t tell what he felt.

If only I saw him and could look into his eyes.

“Thank you” I saw Jacob leave the school and waved.

“Can I ask you if you’ve thought about it yet?” he asked.

I didn’t know if he was referring to me forgiving him or the kiss. But it didn’t matter.

“I haven’t” I said honestly “But I’ll call you again tomorrow it that’s okay with you”

He paused “Always”

I closed my eyes and smiled.

Luckily the weekend was right around the corner which gave me a bit more time than usual. Emma volunteered looking after Jacob and I thanked her. I still hadn’t told her what happened in my past but she told me she didn’t need to know. She was the best and I would fill her in as soon as I didn’t feel so confused anymore.

It was Saturday morning and I took the Tube into the city centre. I hadn’t been there for a while and the crowds at Oxford Street kind of threw me off.

I punched the address into Google Maps and walked the rest of the way.

My heart was in my throat as I rang the bell and waited.

I heard the intercom and my body went cold at hearing his voice

“Hello?”

“This is Michelle. Can we talk?”

I heard the buzzer and walked inside. I walked upstairs to the first floor to find Caleb had opened the door for me.

“Hi” he said when I reached him.

My heart was beating out of my chest. I didn’t want to do this but I had to.

“Hello”

He opened the door for me and we walked into what seemed to be his living room. The flat was huge and I didn’t even ask where he got the money from. I didn’t care. And I certainly didn’t want any of his money.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

I stood there and didn’t really feel like sitting down.

“This won’t take long” I said quietly and I was surprised my voice didn’t quiver.

But I was glad he didn’t have that kind of power over me anymore.

“We should talk about Jacob” I continued.

“Of course” Caleb nodded and seemed all reasonable.

Who knew, maybe we could work this out after all.

“I’m telling you what I’m thinking” I started “You will get to meet him under my terms and we will both tell him that you’re his biological father”

Caleb pressed his lips together but didn’t shake his head.

“Depending on how that goes we can talk about visiting rights”

“Okay” he said

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn’t expected him to agree on this, but somehow he felt as uneasy as I did.

“Perfect” I said drily “Let’s swap numbers and we can arrange a time and date that works best”

We did but something felt too good to be true.

I heard the door unlock and frowned. Was someone else living here too?

“Baby, I’m home” I heard a woman call.

My eyes shot to Caleb and he froze.

I turned around and saw a woman walking towards us, probably a few years younger than I was. She was pushing a stroller in front of her.

Wait, was that -?

I looked at Caleb as my mouth went dry but he didn’t look at me.

The woman reached us and smiled

“Who’s this?” she asked ever so politely.

I glanced at Caleb and was waiting for him to speak.

“Angie, this is Michelle. Michelle, this is Angie, my wife“

My face went pale.

„Nice to meet you“ she smiled “Are you a colleague?”

I almost laughed but I was too shocked.

I looked at Caleb “Does she know?”

“Know what?” Angie asked.

I guessed that was a no.

I had a closer look at the stroller to find a baby, around 6 months old laying inside the carriage, sleeping. It was a boy.

“Is this your baby?” I asked Angie quietly.

How I could keep it together, I didn’t know.

“Yes” she beamed “Our baby” she gestured between her and Caleb.

That was all the confirmation I needed. I sucked in a breath and turned around to leave.

“Michelle, wait” Caleb called and held on to my arm as he reached me.

I turned around and slapped him as hard as I could.

“How dare you!” I screamed.

He clenched his jaw but knew better than to argue.

“What’s going on?” Angie asked.

“Do you want to tell her or should I?” I asked, my voice hard.

Caleb opened his mouth but didn’t speak.

So be it.

I looked at Angie when I spoke “My son is 10 years old. And Caleb is his father”

Then I looked at Caleb “But don’t you dare to expect anything from me or him after ghosting us for 10 years!”

I was so angry I felt like I would boil over any second.

“Wait, what?” Angie said, clearly confused.

“Apparently I wasn’t good enough” I shrugged “But great to see you’re ready for kids now, Caleb!” I called, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

With that I turned around and left.

As I walked back downstairs, I broke down. I walked on to the street and started crying. I didn’t even care who saw me like that. After all these years…

I sniffled as I headed for the Tube, my vision blurry. I seriously had no one to go to. As much as I wanted to see Taron, he was the one who brought all this back up, opened old wounds.

I called my friend Caroline.

“Hi how are you?” she answered cheerily.

I didn’t feel quite so cheerful “Caroline?” I sniffled “Are you home?”

“Oh God what’s wrong?” she asked immediately “Yes I just got up”

“Can I come over to your place in –“ I glanced at my watch “say 10 minutes?”

“Of course” she said quickly “What’s wrong?”

I wiped the tears out of my face as I reached Oxford Circus station “I’ll tell you then”


	7. Dinosaurs and orange juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends. Just friends.  
> Right?

I reached Caroline’s place in a blur and she opened the door for me after I had rung the bell. She knew better than to ask what had gotten into me.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asked.

I felt like getting drunk, but I couldn’t. “Water would be great”

Caroline went and fetched me a glass before we sat down on the couch.

I buried my face in my hands. I wasn’t sure if I could say out loud what had just happened.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked.

She had known Caleb was back in the picture and I had told her I would go see him.

I inhaled “He has a family. A baby and a wife”

I heard Caroline gasp.

I continued “She didn’t even know that he had another son as well” I laughed ironically.

“Oh my God Elle” Caroline threw her hand to her mouth.

I just pressed my lips together and nodded. Tears were welling up in my eyes yet again.

“I’m so sorry!” she said.

I shrugged “Don’t be. He’s an idiot and apparently he always will be. I’m just glad his wife knows too”

I certainly hadn’t wanted to ruin their relationship but she deserved to know the truth.

“Did you tell her?” she asked.

I nodded “Yes. I asked Caleb to tell her but –“I paused. He had always been a coward.

“It was the right thing to do” she agreed.

“I never should have gone there in the first place” I sighed.

“You would have found out sooner or later” she said “At least you can keep him away from Jacob”

That was what I was planning to do.

“Yeah” I sighed “Maybe I should just swear off men once and for all”

“You have effectively done that for the past 10 years”

“At least I didn’t get hurt in the past 10 years” I argued.

“Yes” Caroline smiled lightly “But you have hurt yourself by not opening up to any man. Letting yourself fall”

Letting myself fall? I didn’t even know what that was.

“What about Taron?” she asked.

My belly flipped every time I thought about him. But that didn’t mean it was a good thing.

“What about him?” I shrugged “He was the one who ripped open old wounds for me”

“That’s not true” Caroline said “It was inevitable for that to happen”

I thought about what she said. She was probably right but that didn’t make it okay.

“Maybe” I raised my eyebrows “But he had no right”

“He only had your best interests at heart, whether you see that right now or not”

“I know he did” I said “But he disappointed me just like everyone else”

“Elle” she sighed “You can’t compare him to Caleb”

I didn’t. Or did I?

“Caleb left you when you most needed him. Taron is there for you no matter what” she smiled “He might have a different strategy than you have but don’t tell me you’re seriously angry at him for telling him off”

I smiled. No, actually I should have done that years ago.

“I barely know him though. I used to know him when he was young, but he changed”

“Of course he did. And so did you. But you can get to know him better”

I pressed my lips together and nodded

“And I would say you have gotten to know each other pretty well already” she smirked.

Oh, she was referring to the kiss.

I caressed my arm with my hand “Yeah” I smiled.

“Just start out as friends just like you were and see where it goes” she said.

I didn’t want Jacob all confused about who Taron was to me and to him. Maybe it would be best to start out as friends since we had been exactly that all these years ago.

I really didn’t know what I would do without Caroline.

I decided to call Taron since I had promised him.

“Michelle?” he answered “Is everything all right?”

I smiled lightly. It meant the world to me that he seemed to be so worried.

“I have been better” I sighed.

I bet he could tell something was up. But I didn’t want to tell him over the phone.

He paused “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Not right now” I answered “But would you want to come to the National History Museum with us tomorrow?”

It was Sunday tomorrow which meant there would be incredibly many people there. Not one of my highlights but Jacob wanted to go again.

“I would love to” he said without hesitation.

“Okay” I smiled “See you then”

Somehow I was looking forward to the next day. I was so confused, being angry at Taron for doing what he did, but at the same time the things I felt for him made me forgive him. I would hold on to Caroline’s advice though. We should try to be friends.

That was why I decided to not put on any special makeup or clothes. I dressed in jeans and a jumper and put my hair up in a high ponytail. This would have to do.

The bell rang and I went downstairs to open the door for him.

“Hey” he said in his low voice when he saw me.

I blinked a few times and my smile widened. He was more beautiful than ever, dressed in jeans, a light blue tee, a grey jumper and a jeans jacket. Layers, eh?

“Hi Taron”

He looked at me for a split second, as if he wasn’t quite sure if he was allowed to hug me or not. I took a step closer and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him. I breathed in his scent and almost started welling up. What was even wrong with me lately?

“Come on up” I said once we had broken apart. “Jacob is almost ready”

I already missed his touch more than I let on.

I walked upstairs first and Taron followed behind me.

“Jacob, are you ready?” I called once we had reached the hall.

“Do you want to talk about what –“ Taron started but I shook my head.

“No” I said quickly “Later” I whispered as Jacob left his room.

His eyes lit up when he looked at Taron unlike anything I had seen before.

“Taron” he called and ran up to him.

I glanced over at Taron, speechless.

He smiled at my son and leant down to hug him “Hey buddy”

I watched the two of them and almost started crying.

“Let’s go then” I said on exhale.

Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea. Seeing Taron with kids, and most of all my kid, had my body going into overdrive.

I didn’t even know why.

 _“Friends”_ I reminded myself _“friends”_

We took the Tube down to South Kensington and Taron and Jacob were inseparable. It wasn’t even Taron’s fault, I had never seen my son that excited.

We entered the museum and Taron insisted on paying. Jacob was all about the tour they offered for children where they could play and solve games.

I shrugged and let him go “But be back by 4 pm okay?” It was now 3 pm.

“Yes mom” he rolled his eyes as if I was stupid.

“You have a great boy” Taron said as we stood there and saw him leave with the other kids.

“Thanks” I swear I blushed.

We sat down in the café and Taron brought me a chai latte.

“Thanks” I said

He sat down opposite me with his black tea.

“No coffee?” I asked.

He shook his head “No” he scrunched his nose and it was the cutest thing “I hate coffee”

My smile widened “Me too”

Neither of us spoke for a while. Why did I not know what to say to him?

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” he asked eventually.

I looked up from my glass of tea. He looked concerned.

I shrugged “I don’t think I want to talk about it quite yet”

Taron blinked but didn’t ask why I didn’t want to tell him.

“You know you can tell me, right?” he asked, his brows furrowed.

I nodded “Yeah, I know. But let’s not ruin the mood”

“Okay” he said but it was clearly bothering him that I didn’t tell him.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. I just wasn’t ready.

“Are you shooting a new movie at the moment?” I asked.

He looked up and smiled “Yeah. It’s Kingsman 3”

I raised my eyebrows “And Kingsman is …?”

I wasn’t really into movies.

Taron laughed “Haven’t you seen the other ones?”

I shrugged “No. I’m way too busy to watch TV”

Taron pressed his lips together and nodded “Sure. Well it’s a sequel so check it out sometime if you want”

“How did you get in that industry?” I asked.

From what I remembered Taron always wanted to work in the movie business, but more as a drawer for animated movies, than being an actor himself.

He let out a breath “Well you know I applied at RADA the first year, didn’t get in and went to Kenia”

He looked and me and I nodded.

I did remember us talking about it on the phone. I had been sad about him leaving for London and Kenia, he had been my best friend after all.

But then things with Caleb got serious. A cold shiver ran through me at the thought.

Taron narrowed his eyes ever so slightly “Well they accepted me the following year. I practically learnt everything there”

“That sounds amazing” I smiled.

“Well it wasn’t always easy” he said, looking down at his cup of tea “Especially when I didn’t hear back from you”

I looked down. I wasn’t really proud of it.

“When did you move to London again?” I asked.

“That must have been 2010, right after I came back from Africa”

I nodded. I remembered him telling me about it. But then, later in 2010 –

I let out a breath “I’m sorry Taron. I just didn’t know how to handle everything”

“I was surprised because we talked so regularly” he said quietly “From one day to the next you just stopped calling or answering my texts”

“I know. I’m sorry. My life was really a mess at that time”

He looked into my eyes searchingly and it was as if he was counting.

“You said Jacob is 10 right?” he asked.

I pressed my lips together and nodded.

“Wait, so in 2010-?” Taron asked.

I looked up to meet his eyes “I found out I was pregnant?”

I let out a breath “Yes”

“Mooommm” I heard Jacob and my head whirled around.

“Look what I made” he said proudly and held up a figurine that looked like a dinosaur.

“Wow” I said, raising my eyebrows “This is really pretty”

“What do you think, Taron?” he walked over to Taron sitting opposite me.

“That’s amazing” he said, clearly sounding excited. “You really are talented”

“You think so?” Jacob’s eyes widened and I smiled.

“Yes, of course” Taron said softly.

It was as if his voice changed when he was talking to children.

Then we walked through the museum together and Jacob explained us everything. It really seemed to be his thing. I had lost count how many times we had been here already. But I also found the architecture of the building impressive.

I watched Taron walking next to me and he was totally focused on my son.

My mind still wandered back to our conversation. Taron had started a new life and he was struggling and I hadn’t been there to help him because I had been struggling too.

Things could have been so different.

We took our things and got back home to my place. Jacob wanted to tell Brad everything about today and I let him.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” I furrowed my brows, asking Emma.

She smiled “Of course. Don’t worry. They seem to have the best time”

“Okay thanks” I said “Let me know if you need me”

We both looked at our boys who were deep in conversation and researched something on their phones.

“They’ll be great” Emma laughed.

I smiled.

I walked back into my flat and Taron waited in the hallway. He had shoved his hands in his jeans pockets again. This seemed to be a thing with him nowadays.

“Do you always do that?” I asked, smiling.

“Do what?” he frowned

Only now I paid close attention to his super skinny jeans that fit him like a glove. Damn, I didn’t remember him having thighs like that.

I pointed to his hands in his pockets “That”

He smiled lightly and shrugged “No I don’t think I do”

From what I could tell he didn’t even know how regularly he did it.

“Would you want something to drink?” I asked him.

He clearly sounded unsure whether he should stay or go.

“Whatever you have is fine” he said.

“Okay, let me see what I have” I opened the fridge.

“I can offer you water, orange juice and Fanta” I grimaced.

Taron laughed “I’ll take an orange juice”

“Great” I said and poured us both a glass.

We sat down on the couch together and I suddenly started laughing.

“Do you remember when we drank loads of orange juice and tried to make it come out of our noses?” I giggled.

Taron’s smile widened “Yeah I do remember that. And you even achieved that”

I scrunched my eyes shut for a second “I didn’t get rid of that smell for days”


	8. Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A whole chapter full of conversation Taron x reader.  
> This is goosebump worthy!

“Maybe there is something you can still learn from me” I laughed and winked at him.

His smile widened so I saw his teeth through his lips “Yeah. You showed me how to wink”

“That’s not a difficult thing to do” I smiled and winked again.

“I know” his voice was low.

“So show me what you got” I teased him.

Taron rolled his eyes playfully. Then he started winking with both eyes.

“Whoa” I laughed and threw my hand to my mouth. “You definitely improved those skills”

He laughed and that deep throaty laugh reminded me of completely different things.

“I guess you could say that. We learnt a lot of shit like that” he grimaced.

“Like?” I asked.

“Just everything. You need to have a really thin skin to lay your feelings bare just like that but then nobody told us you need to have a thick skin for all those auditions and rejections”

I smiled “Well clearly you aced them if you’re famous now”

“I wouldn’t particularly call it that”

“Don’t be so humble” I slapped him on the shoulder, playfully, but was all too reminded of how firm it was.

“Since when do you like sport anyway?” I asked.

He grimaced “I don’t. But I need to stay in shape for the roles”

He clashed his teeth together in a fake smile.

I laughed “I’m sure there are advantages. Women must throw themselves at you”

I immediately regretted saying that. What had even gotten into me?

“Yeah” Taron drew out the word “But it’s hard”

“Hard to choose?” I smiled.

His eyes met mine and I knew that wasn’t it. His eyes stayed fixated on mine when he spoke

“That was never the problem”

“Then what was it?” I asked slowly.

“Most of them just want me for my money or for my looks” he grimaced.

I knew what they were getting at, but Taron was so much more than just his looks, let alone his money. They were only by-products of the real him, never the main reason.

“You’re not just pretty” I said and wanted to slap myself.

That sounded weird.

“Gee, thanks” he laughed. “Thanks for keeping my foot on the ground”

I smiled “No, I didn’t mean it like that”

“Then what did you mean?”

I glanced over at him and it was as if he was sitting closer to me now.

“It’s your personality Taron. And even though you’re not that little boy from Aber anymore, you didn’t change your whole character”

That wasn’t even possible as far as I was concerned.

“Thank you” he said quietly.

My mouth went dry. I wish I hadn’t stirred the conversation in that direction.

I took a sip of orange juice and gulped it down.

“At least you got what you always wanted, right?” I spoke.

“I did achieve some things” he said “But that’s not worth mentioning. There are far more important things in life”

I glanced over to him again “Like what?”

To me, his life seemed pretty perfect.

“Family” he clenched his jaw.

Just one word to derail me. What I would give to have a functioning family. Surely, no family was perfect, but I had never wanted to have my kid grow up without a dad, but that was exactly what had happened.

“Yeah” I said quietly “I wish things were different”

“You know I grew up without my dad” Taron said quietly.

I looked over at him and was all too reminded of the memories of the past. It had crushed him when his dad had left his mom.

“I’m sorry that happened to you. The worst thing is that I’m doing that to my son too”

“Hey” Taron cupped my face in one of his hands “It’s not your fault”

I gulped and looked down “Of course it it”

There were always two people involved in creating children.

“It was your fault as less as it was my mom’s that my dad left her”

Sounded to me like he was still really close to his mom.

I shrugged as I felt my chin wobbling “Clearly there has to be something wrong with me –“

“Don’t think that” he said quietly “You’re amazing”

I looked into his eyes that were so full of sincerity.

“Maybe I should have done something differently” my whole body was tense “There isn’t one day where I’m not wondering if I could have done something –“

I exhaled “But I’m sorry I didn’t tell you”

Taron’s eyes moved between mine.

“I wish I would have known, Michelle” he said quietly as he ran a hand through his hair.

I closed my eyes. Thinking back to it now I wish I would have told him too.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything” I said, my voice quivering “Would it?”

“It certainly would have for me” he said, his voice smooth.

His voice alone made me feel more things than any men ever could.

“Why?” I laughed sadly “I was carrying another man’s baby”

I glanced at Taron and his expression changed. I knew what he was going to say even before he said it

“I don’t care” he breathed out “He’s yours so that’s all that matters”

“Do you really mean that?” I asked quietly.

He still never really told me how he felt.

I heard him exhale and then he cupped my face in his hands. I just had to look at him and couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to look away.

“You meant the world to me” he said quietly, his eyes flickering between my eyes and my lips.

My breath hitched and I was all too familiar of his kisses. Nobody had ever said something so nice to me. More than nice. He basically told me he loved me. _Past tense._

I wanted to slap myself. If things had gone differently, maybe we would be married and have children that were ours.

"It was hard for me to get over you. I had to. And with the years the pain got less”

“I’m seriously sorry Taron” I really meant it. For the both of us, because we had both been hurt, by me.

I sat back and his hands dropped to his lap. I missed his touch but I needed to get this off my chest

“Apparently I make all the wrong choices in life”

“Why do you say that?” he asked

“Don’t get me wrong, I would never change having a son. I don’t know what I would do without him. But men wise –“ I paused.

“Do you want to tell me what happened with Caleb?” he asked quietly.

I looked at him and knew I could tell him everything. He was the only one I could lay my feelings bare with.

I gulped and inhaled deeply before speaking “He has a baby. And a wife”

“What?” Taron raised his voice.

I didn’t meet his eyes “I got there and everything seemed so good. Caleb seemed like he really wanted to work for it. I felt like he knew he did something wrong. But he probably just wanted me back out of the house before his wife came home with their son”

I didn’t know how I could talk about this so calmly now. Maybe because I had cried all the tears that were to cry.

“I’m sorry Michelle” Taron said quietly “If I would have known –“

“It wouldn’t have changed anything” I interrupted him.

I knew that now. This would have come up sooner or later and I didn’t blame Taron for it.

Hell, he was the only great man in my life.

“That must have been hard on you” he said, his voice soft.

I looked at him before speaking “Yeah”

I wish I could have run to him and told him. But it didn’t feel right at that moment.

“You know I’m always there for you, no matter what?”

It was a statement and a question, all rolled into one.

I nodded. At least I hoped I did.

“Thank you, Taron” I smiled lightly “I don’t know what I would do without you”

I let out a breath “At least I didn’t ruin your life and dreams by telling you”

“Don’t say that” he said “You could never ruin my life”

I shrugged. I wouldn’t change it, but of course I had had dreams I never got to fulfil. And a few of them I never would.

“It is what it is” I said quietly, sadly “But I’m happy you made somebody of yourself”

I looked over to him and smiled, even if I was sad.

Taron looked at me intently “What about your dreams?”

I didn’t know what to respond to that “I always wanted to travel, see the world”

But it was just the tip of the iceberg.

“You can still do all of that” he said firmly “I can take you”

I laughed. As cute and nice as Taron was, he would have a family of his own one day. And they certainly wouldn’t want me to join them.

And anyway, it wasn’t my biggest wish. A dream my whole body was aching for.

“What else is there?” Taron asked and I felt his hand on my knee.

I looked over to him. How did he know me so well even after all these years?

I shook my head. I couldn’t tell him about that one. It was too personal, too deep buried inside of me.

“Tell me” it sounded like a plea.

I looked into his eyes that were so green in this light and knew he broke all my walls down. However he did it, but he saw right past my facade.

“I want a family. A real family. I don’t want my kid to grow up without a dad anymore. Hell, he already had to learn what it’s like to have no dad”

I was starting to sob and didn’t even realise it.

“He deserves a dad. He needs a role model in his life. And I can’t give that to him because I’m too messed up to –“

Taron pressed his forefinger to my mouth to stop me from speaking. When he pulled away, I glanced at his finger, then his eyes.

“He doesn’t have to grow up without a dad” he said quietly, softly.

I was too caught up in my rambling “Yes, he has” I nodded heavily “It is what it is”

“It doesn’t have to be like that” Taron said, his voice growing firmer.

“I’m on my best way to a crazy old cat lady” I laughed.

I looked at Taron and he smiled “I love cats, you know?”

I smiled. I still remembered that. “I know”

“And anyway, there is nothing wrong with cats, right?”

I didn’t know what I was trying to convince myself of.

“Nothing wrong with cats” Taron agreed.

“Then I’m good” I laughed “I don’t need a man when I have cats”

I didn’t even know why I was telling Taron all of that.

Taron didn’t respond so I looked over to him. I shouldn’t have told him that. It was too personal.

“Sorry” I shrugged.

“Don’t be” Taron looked down “It’s your life so you get to decide what you want to do with it”

“I wish things were different” I said as my whole body shivered.

The thought of Taron being the father of my children came back to my mind at the inappropriate times. But I couldn’t stop it. The more I tried to push it out of my mind, the harder it came back.

“In which way?” he asked quietly.

I couldn’t tell him I wanted him to be the dad to my children. That would ruin our friendship.

“I don’t know” I said even though I knew I did “I hope you get to have a great family one day”

Taron looked over to me and something in his expression changed. My belly somersaulted.

“I hope so too” he said quietly “But I’m not really getting my hopes up”

“Why not?” I asked quickly “Surely you will find a woman that fits into your life and who loves you for who you really are”

“Who I really am?” he raised his eyebrows.

“You’re so compassionate, kind, humble and sweet. You care more about others than yourself. You always put others first. You’re funny. You’re talented. You’re sexy”

I stopped speaking and wished I could take that last bit back.

“You find me sexy?” his voice was low.

I tried to laugh it off “Of all the things I said that’s what you chose to repeat?”

“Yes” he said and his eyes burned into mine.

I looked down and could feel myself blushing “I’m sure you know that already”

“Michelle” he said quietly as if he was begging me to look at him.

I looked up into his eyes and all I wanted to do was kiss him. Kiss him, even if it was the last time. I would have something to hold on to, something to replay in my head for the rest of my life.

“Why do you say I’m sexy?” his voice was sending shivers through my body.

“I also said other things” I laughed “And I mean we kissed so –“

“So -?” he raised his eyebrows ever so lightly.

“Come on, Taron” I felt like groaning “Do you want me to say you’re a great kisser too?”

He didn’t laugh. And neither did I. I crossed my legs and squeezed. My body couldn’t take this anymore.

“If you think that’s true, then yes, I would like to know” he spoke slowly.

My heart was racing. Now that we were admitting things? Why not?

“Of course you’re a great kisser” I rolled my eyes. He had to know that already.

I glanced over to Taron to find him smiling. Oh, he was so full of himself.

“Are you happy now?” I laughed.

“I am” he stated “But not for the reasons you think I am”

I frowned. What did he mean?

“I don’t find myself sexy” he said slowly. “Fuck, I don’t even care”

“Then why are you smiling?” I still didn’t get it.

“Because you said so yourself. Which means you must feel something for me and maybe you don’t even realise you do, but that is what matters to me. You matter to me”

My heart was picking up speed. Of course I felt something for him. I was in love with him already.

I let out a breath “I don’t know what you want me to say”

He brushed his thumb over my chin “I told you how I felt”

I leant back “Yes, exactly. How you felt. _Past tense_. And I don’t even blame you”

“Oh, Michelle” he said as if he thought I really didn’t get it. And maybe I really didn’t.

“What?” I asked, almost rhetorically.

He looked into my eyes as he spoke, his features full of concern “I never got over you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think please!


	9. Kiss me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy where this goes. Leave me a comment below!

_He looked into my eyes as he spoke, his features full of concern “I never got over you”_

I felt like I had a heart attack “What?”

I was breathless.

“Michelle” he whispered.

I met his eyes and he looked so vulnerable, that sexy kind man, sitting there like that next to me. I couldn’t think straight. Every nerve in my body was drawn to him.

I cupped his face in my hands, running my fingers over his beautiful sharp jawline and the light stubble that had formed there over the course of the day.

He closed his eyes lazily.

I couldn’t believe that this man could feel the same way about me, as I felt about him.

My hands travelled down his throat and around to his neck before I pulled him closer to me. He opened his eyes and looked at me, full of vulnerability and hope.

It was the last straw.

I pulled him to me and every little piece of a puzzle fell into place as our lips touched again. How could I ever doubt his feelings for me? Or my feelings for him?

He sighed as if I was his last wish and pulled me to him. We kissed so softy, devouring each other, that I knew there would never be another man for me. My hands travelled down his torso and around to his back, pulling him in to me as close as I could.

His hands went to my waist as he pulled me closer and leant over me. Only then I realised he was laying on top of me, his weight feeling like heaven.

My hands went under his shirt and he shivered, his muscles contracting under my touch. I felt like this was too good to be true.

There was a knock on the door and I jumped.

_“Jacob”_

Taron was in a daze as I pushed him off me and I saw him suck in his lower lip. I wanted to smash my mouth to his again, biting his bottom lip for him.

But priorities.

I walked to the door and sincerely hoped I didn’t look like I felt. Hot and bothered, about to jump someone.

I opened the door to find my boy standing there and everything else was suddenly forgotten.

“Hey mom” he said as if it was no big deal.

“Hi buddy. Did you have fun with Brad?”

“Uh-huh” he said as he walked into the living room and found Taron, still sitting on the couch.

“Did you and Taron have fun too?” he asked ever so innocently.

I blushed but apparently Taron had gotten it together by now “Yes, we had a talk”

Jacob rolled his eyes “Adults” he murmured and walked off to his room.

I threw my hand to my mouth, giggling.

I sat down next to Taron again as I opened my messy ponytail, trying to adjust it.

The second I met his eyes, full of love and lust as surely my eyes were too, our self-control flew out of the window.

His hands ran through my loose hair as he pulled me to him. I sighed as he pressed his lips to mine. This time, there was no hesitation. His tongue parted my lips and our tongues danced with each other as he drew everything from me and I from him.

I moaned into the kiss, so full of passion I felt my whole body aching for his touch. He tugged on my hair and my head fell back as his lips left my mouth and moved over my cheek down to my throat. He licked and kissed me there, ever so slowly and thoroughly, as if he wanted to memorise this as badly as I did.

I grabbed his face from my throat and smashed my mouth on his again, needing his lips on mine. He groaned as he completely devoured me and I felt like I would die any second.

“Mom, do we have any more toothpaste?” I heard Jacob say.

Taron and I jumped apart and I got up from the couch. I walked over to where Jacob was standing while my knees felt like jelly. He was looking between me and Taron.

“Let me check” I said as I disappeared into my bedroom and went to look for a new tube in my closet.

Jacob followed me “Are you and Taron a couple now?”

I ran my hand through my messy hair and sighed. What was I supposed to tell him? I wasn’t quite so sure myself. The last thing I wanted was to confuse my son.

“I hope we are” I had to stick with the truth.

“We are” I heard Taron say and glanced over to find him leaning against the doorframe.

The things I felt for this man were unhealthy.

“How do you feel about that, Jacob?” I asked him.

I didn’t want him to be worried, confused or hurt.

“I love it” he said, clearly excited “Does that mean you’ll stay here now?” he asked Taron.

Taron and I exchanged a glance and I shrugged.

“We will have to talk about that, okay?” I spoke to my son.

He raised his shoulders and let them fall “Okay”

He walked off to the bathroom with a fresh tube of tooth paste and left Taron and me standing there.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped a line –“ Taron said slowly.

“Did you mean it?” I asked “That we are a couple now?”

He smiled lightly but I could tell he held back his full on bright smile “I hope so”

“We should talk about what we just did, I –“

I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t form any coherent thought seeing Taron standing there like this.

“We can talk about it” he said calmly “But I think it’s pretty obvious”

“Is it?” I frowned.

He walked closer to me and my breath hitched as soon as his body was flush against mine.

“We were all over each other just now” he said all calm.

How could he be so calm about this? I felt like my body was going up in flames.

“And in case I wasn’t clear earlier –“ he paused “I’m in love with you”

He reached up and stroked my cheek with the palm of his hand.

“You are?” my eyes widened

He nodded and pressed his lips together.

I let out a sigh as I pushed my hands into his jeans back pockets.

“I’m in love with you too” I smiled like a fool.

He didn’t even hesitate as he clashed his mouth to mine again and held on to my waist for dear life. I kissed him back with all I felt for him, all that he meant to me and he groaned.

“Wait” I pulled away, barely able to breathe.

Taron’s eyes bore through mine, his gaze heated, yet under control.

“What about Jacob?” I asked quietly.

Taron shrugged “What about him?”

“Are you sure you want to be with me and another man’s –“

“He is your flesh and blood. I love him as much as I love you” he interrupted me

I smiled cheekily “Really?”

“Really” he stated

I was the one to kiss him then and he didn’t hesitate to kiss me back.

We spent the night cuddling, kissing and talking and it was one of the best nights of my life.

“Are you sure you don’t need to get home?” I asked him eventually.

He smiled down at me “No. Now that I have you, I want to hold you”

My heart was melting with everything he said and did.

I reached up to kiss him and we kept the kiss light and soft. Then I wrapped my arms around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder, falling asleep.

I woke up the next morning all hot and bothered and wondered why. I slowly opened my eyes and looked straight ahead. I felt Taron laying behind me, his arm tightly around my front.

I sighed. This felt perfect.

I turned around ever so slowly so I wouldn’t wake him.

I glanced at his features and shook my head ever so slightly. I still couldn’t believe this man was in love with me and accepted me and my life just the way it was.

I reached up and ran my hand over his cheek, ever so lightly. He was so beautiful in every way that mattered. His lips parted slightly.

“Babe” I heard him moan.

I shivered as he pulled me closer to him.

He blinked a few times and opened his eyes and my heart jumped when I looked into his bright hazel eyes.

“Good morning” I smiled.

He smiled boyishly and I grinned.

“Kiss me” he whispered.


	10. Clearing things up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things Taron and I have to discuss. But then it also might just turn into talking dirty.

The following week flew by in a blur with Jacob’s school and my work. I lay in bed alone at night and missed Taron like a crazy person. Now that I had gotten a taste on what it was like to cuddle with him, there was no going back.

And then I was overthinking too much, unsure about whether we would last and there were still some things he didn’t know about me.

It was Saturday again and I made pancakes for all of us. Taron had decided to come over and I was so happy to see him again. Talking on the phone was one thing, him being there in person something completely different.

Jacob seemed pretty excited about the possibility of having Taron around permanently. I hoped that whatever this was, we didn’t jump in too early on.

“Do you want to play Fortnite with me?” he asked Taron, ever so hopeful.

Taron cringed and I wondered why “I actually have to work today”

Jacob looked down “But it’s Saturday”

“I’m sorry buddy” Taron seemed genuinely sorry “How about next week?”

The corners of Jacob’s lips turned upwards “Didn’t mom tell you?”

I let out a sigh as I thought of it. I had completely forgotten to tell Taron, but without wanting to. Actually I wanted to discuss that with him in detail.

“Tell me what?” Taron frowned.

I glanced at him, watching his whole forehead in wrinkles before I spoke

“Jacob and his classmates will go camping for a week”

I was still scared shitless whenever he was away for that long. That would probably never go away.

“A whole week, eh?” Taron smiled at Jacob who was stoked. “Where are you going?”

Jacob smiled. He was so excited about this “We’re going to Cornwall”

Taron looked impressed “Oh that sounds cool. Why don’t we play Fortnite when you’re back?”

“Okay” Jacob had clearly forgotten all about it already.

Taron had to run after we had breakfast and I brought him downstairs.

“I’m sorry for not telling you” I cringed “I didn’t mean to”

He smiled lightly and cupped my face. Something I loved and craved for by now.

“Don’t worry about it”

“Do you want to come over when Jacob is leaving tomorrow? I’m sure he’d love to see you again before he leaves” I suggested.

He pressed his lips together “I have to work again tomorrow. I could come by later if you want”

“Later?” I asked.

Taron shoved his hands in his jeans pockets “Yeah. I can’t tell you which time yet though”

“I don’t mind” I smiled “Just come by whenever you finish work”

“Yeah?” Taron’s eyes lit up.

My smile widened “Sure”

My heart was beating faster as he pulled me closer. I had kissed him so many times by now I had lost count, but I still couldn’t get over it.

Our lips touched ever so slowly and I sighed. We broke the kiss way too early and Taron smirked

“See you tomorrow”

I waved him goodbye “Have a good day at work”

I closed the door behind me and exhaled. I would love to have him here all the time. We would definitely have to discuss that.

Hell, I didn’t even know if we had a future together and we were supposed to talk about moving in together?

But it was hard for me to imagine a life without Taron anymore.

I helped Jacob pack his things and he was so excited about the trip. But there was also something else that had him happy as if it was his birthday –

“Will Taron move in with us soon?” he asked hopefully.

I smiled “I don’t know yet. We will have to discuss that. But surely you will see more of Taron”

“Yay” he cheered “He’s cool”

I laughed. Not particularly how I would have described him. But yeah, he was _cool_.

I saw Jacob off the next day and tried to distract myself from worrying. I cleaned the flat but then, that was done rather quickly.

I paced around the living room deciding what to do. I glanced at my watch. It was already evening.

I looked at my phone and saw Jacob had texted me

_< <We’re there now>>_

I let out a sigh of relief. So he was fine.

Taron had also texted me

_< <Still stuck at work. You still ok with me coming by later?>>_

I smiled. It didn’t matter to me when he came here.

_< <Sure. Whenever you’re free>>_

I sat down on the couch and decided to turn on the TV. I flicked through the channels. I rarely did that as it was, but since I had some alone time, why not?

My heart skipped a beat when I –

Wait, that was – Taron?

I looked up the description and saw it was a Robin Hood movie.

I smiled as I sat there, watching him. Boy he looked good. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from the screen whenever Taron was on it. How was it possible he was the same person?

I jumped when I heard the bell ring and absentmindly paused the movie and walked downstairs, opening the door.

“Hey” Taron smiled. He seemed tired, yet happy to see me.

My belly somersaulted. Only he could ever make me feel this way.

“Hi, come on in”

I stepped aside but not before Taron pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled like a fool.

We walked upstairs and I heard Taron chuckle.

“Decided to watch one of my movies, did you?” he laughed.

I glanced at the TV and saw I had paused the film in the middle of Taron aka Robin Hood fighting off the bad guys while saving his girl.

Oh. My. Days.

I smiled as I could feel myself blushing “I flicked through the channels and saw you were on”

Taron smiled “No other reason to watch, eh?”

He took a step closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I sighed. “I rarely watch TV. You know that”

“But -?” he raised his eyebrows.

I grinned “But I loved to watch this. Maybe we should just binge watch all your movies”

Taron grimaced “Not really proud of all of them”

“I’m sure they are all great” I smiled. “Just don’t care what others say as long as you’re proud of it”

Taron smiled back at me and his eyes sparkled.

He pulled me to him and we kissed, ever so softly and sweet. I could feel my knees giving in just as we broke apart again.

“Why don’t we watch the rest of it together?” I asked, walking over to the couch and sitting down.

Just to make sure my knees wouldn’t give in for real.

I swear I heard Taron groan. “Sure. If that’s what you want”

And that was what we did.

Taron and I cuddled on the couch and that was pure bliss. We lay there entangled in one another when I was starting to yawn.

“Tired, are you?” he said quietly.

“I am. Aren’t you exhausted from work?”

He smiled lightly “Normally yes. But you take my mind off it”

I smiled. He was so cute.

Taron looked as if he didn’t understand me and maybe I didn’t either. He wetted his lips with his tongue and my mind went blank. Nothing like switching over from cute to sexy like Taron did it.

“I love you for being you” he sighed “For being so unaffected by me and not giving a shit”

I laughed and could feel my cheeks redden “Unaffected?”

“Yeah” his eyes moved between mine, obviously amused.

“Why do you say that?” I asked and sat up slightly so I had a better view at Taron.

I could never be unaffected by him.

“If I’m being honest” he let out a breath “I would have been ready to jump your bones several times now”

I fiddled with my hands. I felt exactly like him.

But I had my reasons why I had always stopped us from taking things further. And none of that was Taron’s fault.

“There is a reason for that you know” I said quietly.

“Don’t get me wrong” he took my hand in his and intertwined them “I love to take things slow, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page”

“And which page is that?” I asked, hopefully.

My breathing was already shallow.

He smiled cheekily “I know it might be too early but –“

I was waiting for him to speak.

“I want to grow old with you”

My heart stopped right there.

“Taron” I sighed

“Just tell me if you don’t feel the same way” he looked hurt, almost broken.

“Of course I do!” I said, raising my voice “You’re the –“ I stopped myself “You’re the second important person in my life and you always will be”

He raised one eyebrow, clearly understanding that my son would always come first “Second doesn’t sound so bad”

“I’m sorry, but my son will always be my number one priority even if –“ I stopped.

I couldn’t tell him I wanted my son to be his kid even if we couldn’t change it anymore. He could still be his dad. We could still have children of our own.

My brain exploded at the thought alone. That was why I could never tell him.

Taron raised his eyebrows in question.

I let out a breath “Never mind”

“You know” Taron put a hand on my thigh and I felt his touch burn through my whole body “We have to honest with each other for this to work”

“I’m being honest. This is just too deep”

Taron furrowed his brows. I was probably talking nonsense.

Whatever. He said he loved me, so he would accept it.

I looked straight into his eyes as I spoke “I wish he was your son”

My voice was barely above a whisper but from Taron’s reaction I knew he had heard me. His eyes widened slightly and he smiled.

“You don’t know what you do to me by saying that” his voice was raw.

I had goose bumps all over my body. Was that a good or a bad thing? It could go both ways.

I shrugged and felt my body heat up with embarrassment “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you”

“Hey” he lay a hand around my neck “I’m glad you told me. Actually –“ he let out a breath “I’ve thought about it myself”

“You have?” now I was the one who widened her eyes.

“I have” he confirmed “Your son looks so much like you and I’ve always wanted kids myself so –“

He paused and I gulped.

My mind could perfectly picture little Taron’s running around the flat.

“But then we never took things further and I don’t even know if you want more kids –“ he met my eyes.

Before meeting Taron I hadn’t been so sure. But right now –

“There is something I haven’t told you yet” I said, relieved to finally get the words out.

“We don’t have to rush anything” he said ever so slowly, cupping my cheek in the process.

I wish I could have just jumped his bones right there. But I couldn’t.

“It’s not that.” I exhaled “I have only ever been with one – with one man in my life”

I looked down. I definitely wasn’t proud of that, and who it was.

“You’re telling me –“ he paused “You’re telling me you’ve only ever been with him?” he asked, quietly

I was thankful he didn’t say his name and that he didn’t judge me for it.

I bit my lip and nodded “Yeah. And the last time we last –“ I couldn’t say the words “That was when I –“

“When you got pregnant” Taron completed my thoughts for me.

“I know this is messed up” I whined.

Taron nodded slowly “And that’s why you worry about having kids again”

I hadn’t even thought about it in that way, but Taron was right. I loved my son, but that experience had shaped how I felt about it.

“I’m sorry Taron” I looked down and smiled sadly “I’m a wreck”

“Hey, don’t you say that” he caressed my cheek with his palm.

“Thank you” I smiled. He truly accepted for who I was, and who I had to become under these circumstances.

“But –“ Taron looked confused “How did you – survive the last 10 years?” I could tell he had to supress laughing.

Looking back at it now, it never seemed like a big deal.

I shrugged “I don’t know. I don’t remember it being that –“ I gulped “good”

I didn’t remember it being anything life changing. “Like it was something to enjoy”

“Fuck” he gasped as he ran his hand through his hair “He really is an idiot, isn’t he?”

I shrugged. I didn’t know any better “I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be”

The way Taron looked at me then bore holes through my body. His eyes stayed fixated on mine, heated. I pressed my thighs together ever so lightly but it didn’t help. In fact, it only made it worse.

“Trust me –“ he said in a low voice “That’s not how it’s supposed to be”

I looked down. His gaze was too much for me to handle. I could tell he was referring to something life-altering. Something I couldn’t even imagine. Could it feel so different?

“Well maybe you just have to be lucky” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“Michelle” he whispered “It’s not about luck”

I met his eyes and I was already hotter and more bothered than the father of my son had ever made me feel. And Taron didn’t even touch me yet.


	11. Dirty talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains smut, so get ready for that cold shower! :)

"Then what is it about?” I asked, because I just had no clue.

He blinked ever so slowly and it was as if we were in my bedroom, talking dirty. His lips parted and even in the dim light I could tell his eyes darkened.

“It’s about –“ he let out a breath “about being attentive with each other. About being excited, enthusiastic, taking care of each other”

My whole body was already on the edge. How could he say stuff like that as if it was no big deal? He could probably send me over the edge with his words alone, without even touching me.

“It’s about being thorough” he said, looking me straight in the eyes.

“Thorough, eh?” I was red as scarlet.

“It’s about the pleasure of both” he said firmly “That’s what makes it mind-blowing”

My whole skin was tingling and I didn’t know what to say.

“Sounds –“ I gulped “Sounds good”

He chuckled “I just thought you should know”

And what was I supposed to do with that information? I wanted to experience that in motion. Because it sounded life-scattering.

Taron spoke softly “I can understand it’s a huge step for you and I don’t want you to –“

I shut him up by bringing my lips to his. As far as I was concerned, we had talked enough about this. Actually this had turned me on to experience just what he had talked about.

Taron was taken aback for a split second before he cupped my face in his hand and kissed me languidly. Now I knew what he meant with being thorough and I couldn’t wait to find out more.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to get as close to him as humanely possible.

He groaned and my head was spinning. He rolled me on to my back ever so slightly, where we had been before but never took things further.

This time I spread my legs as a natural reaction and moaned as I felt him press into me right _there_.

We rubbed against each other ever so lightly while kissing as if our lives depended on it. I had never felt so ready in my life.

He was so close to me as he took his bottom lip into his mouth and bit it. I sighed. He leant in and I thought he would kiss me, but he headed for my throat. His lips left a trail of sloppy kisses down my neck and my knees gave in.

Taron wrapped his arms even tighter around my body and I did the only thing I could think of. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He groaned as he held me tightly and carried me to my bedroom as if I was as light as a feather.

He was just about to set me down when I pressed my lips to his.

“You’re killing me here” he spoke against my lips.

I smiled. If anything it was the other way around.

We both fell down on the bed together as we made out. His tongue meeting mine, his body on top of mine and his hands in my hair.

This felt like heaven.

I wrapped one leg around his back and moaned when I felt him right _there_.

He sat up and I wondered why we had broken the kiss. The way he looked at me had me speechless though. He helped me out of my shirt and even though I wasn’t proud of my body, in that moment I didn’t care. Because I knew Taron liked what he saw as he ran his thumb over his bottom lip.

“Take off your shirt” I breathed, dying to see what he looked like underneath.

Dying to feel his skin against mine.

He unbuttoned his shirt ever so slowly I felt like I was dying. He kept his eyes fixated on mine, but my eyes dropped to his chest as soon as I saw the skin underneath.

I couldn’t help myself. I leaned in closer and kissed his skin there and I could hear his breath hitch. He unbuttoned it all the way and I helped him out of his shirt and ran my hand through his chest hair, appreciating his warm, firm skin.

He exhaled shakily and I couldn’t believe he was as affected as I was.

Just as my hands dropped to the waistband of his jeans he rolled me to my back and I moaned.

I could hear him mutter something that sounded an awful lot like “thorough” and I scrunched my eyes closed. I had no clue what I was in for.

His hands rested on my waist for a second before they travelled higher. Tingles ran through me at the slightest touch from him.

He pinched my nipples ever so lightly and I moaned. I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me and I wish I could frame this memory for all eternity.

He moved further up my body and crashed his lips to mine. He was as desperate as I was, our mouths clashing together and our tonuges tangling.

We stayed like this for a while and completely forgot everything around us. But there was a heat pooling inside of me, such an intense feeling I couldn’t understand. But I knew for certain only Taron could put it out.

As if he knew what I wanted his mouth dropped lower , first to my throat, down to my breasts, unclasping my bra in the process and lower to my navel.

I arched my back on instinct, trying to get him closer, but deep down I knew where he was headed already.

I reached for my leggings and pushed them down and Taron helped me.

My breath hitched as I felt his fingers on my inner thigh, travelling higher oh so slowly.

“Taron” I moaned and I could hear him groan in response.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” he said, his face soft, but his voice strained.

I nodded heavily. I wanted this as much as he did.

He moved my panties to the side and my mind raced. So many things running through my mind, yet none of that really mattered and I focused on Taron’s hands on my body, one hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him and one hand on my hipbone.

Then his mouth was on me right there and I gasped, fisting the sheets in the process. I scrunched my eyes closed at that overwhelming feeling and moaned as I exhaled.

He added a finger to my clit and I bucked against him. How was my body capable of so much pleasure? And how did Taron know how to coax it? It was as if we were made for each other.

I rolled my hips against him, begging for more. One of his fingers slowly sank into me and my jaw hit the floor.

He kept going, increasing his pace ever so steadily and I could feel myself reaching the edge. It felt like I would die if he sent me over it, but at that moment I didn’t care.

“Please” I whimpered

He added his tongue to my clit and I could hear him groan against my heat.

I opened my eyes to find him watching my every reaction to his touch. With that, my orgasm rushed through my body and I moaned. My legs were shaking and everything in my mind evaporated. There was only one thing left, one man: Taron.

He continued his movements until I was completely spent and oh so relaxed after having been so tense.

I reached for him and his lips found mine again, dancing with a passion I could barely cope with. We bit and licked each other and I could feel myself getting ready and needy again, even more so than before.

My hands travelled over his strong back until I reached his jeans and boxer briefs. I tried to pull them down, but failed of course.

He groaned and sat up, moving off the bed.

I whined but sat up to watch him as he stepped out of his jeans and underwear in one go.

“Fuck” he cursed and ran a hand through his hair.

Every piece of the puzzle fell into place. His beautiful caring face, with that damn hot body. I almost didn’t believe it was Taron, if it wasn’t for his sharp jawline and his moles.

I gulped at the sight of him.

“I don’t have a condom with me” he breathed.

I blinked a few times. I didn’t have any either.

“I want you” I gasped “without anything between us”

He closed his eyes in a long blink “Are you sure?”

I nodded heavily and was thankful when he came back to bed “I’m on the pill”

He sighed.

“Make me yours” I whispered, even though I was already his.

He closed his eyes in a long blink and I reached up and trailed my hand over his cheek and chin and over his bottom lip.

“I’m trying to keep it together here” his voice was getting more and more hoarse.

I loved every second of it.

“Don’t keep it together” I whispered “Because I can’t either”

He opened his eyes again and stared down at me. Then he leant down and kissed me so lazily I was more than lightheaded. His mouth moved slowly with mine and I wriggled against him.

“I love you” he said quietly and pushed a stray of hair out of my face.

I smiled up at him “I love you”

He closed his eyes again ever so slowly before opening them again. I could feel him at my entrance and already gasped.

“Tell me and I’ll stop, okay?” he furrowed his brows.

“Pleaseeee” I was already moaning “Don’t stop”

Apparently it was enough for his self-control to evaporate as he pushed into me ever so slowly, stretching me so wide. I knew my body was used to stretching, but this was something else.

My jaw clenched as I tried to suck in a breath to get used to that feeling.

He stopped his movements and looked at me “Are you all right?”

How was he so sweet?

I nodded “Yes” I sighed “I’m good. Please –“

He thrust in further and I wondered how long this would go on until he was all the way inside.

He just stayed there, all the way inside of me and let me get used to that feeling.

“You’re so tight” he breathed out.

I laughed but it turned into a moan as that movement radiated through my whole body.

Taron smirked.

“I’m surprised my –“ I gestured “my parts got back to normal”

I was so ashamed of my lady parts since I had pushed a child out there but Taron didn’t seem to mind.

No, he much rather furrowed his brows even deeper.

“You have no idea what that does to me” he whispered, his voice shaking.

Wait, did that… turn him on?

“What?” I asked “That I had a child?”

His eyes burned through mine “Yes” he hissed “And that you might carry my baby one day”

My breath hitched at that thought. I was afraid, not of the pregnancy in particular because I knew what would hit me, but of the journey of our love.

But it was Taron.

“Can’t say I’m dreading to try” I smirked.

He kissed me and I moaned as I felt him moving inside of me. He pulled out, almost to the tip, before moving back in at a slow pace.

I felt like I was in the middle of the desert, going up in flames.

“Taron” I moaned.

“We need to keep this slow” he whispered. “I don’t want to overdo it”

I smiled. Ever so caring and sweet.

I did what I could do on my part. I let my hands travel over his back and down to his hips and gripped him there, starting to meet his thrusts with my body.

That earned me a hearty groan.

“Michelle” his voice alone almost sent me over the edge.

I didn’t know where to touch first, where to look first. His beautiful face, so furrowed and concentrated. His incredible body. The muscles and the soft bits. It was all too much to handle.

Eventually, he got to the point where he didn’t seem to be able to take it any longer either.

He picked up his pace and my chest was heaving, my breath catching in my throat.

I tried to get used to the feeling of my body but I couldn’t. I had never felt anything like it before. I was in sensory overload, trying to identify my feelings, my movements.

But I couldn’t. All I could feel was Taron.

My legs were starting to shake, feeling deliciously tense and soft at the same time. I felt myself starting to clench around his cock and it was almost painful, but in the best ways.

“Fuck” Taron groaned.

He sent me over the edge as he thrust into me even deeper than before, and faster. My body was shaking like a leaf, all the muscles in my body contracting. It lasted so much longer than I expected and the best was yet to come.

“Taron” I moaned as I could feel my eyes watering.

“Look at me” he whispered and I opened my eyes.

Another wave of orgasm crashed through me as I saw the way he looked at me, losing full control as he came, his eyes rolling back, half-closed, his lips parting even further.

I reached up and ran my fingers over his lips, wanting this moment to last forever.

He leant in and kissed me, the kiss so much softer than I expected. I ran my hands through his hair as he ran his hands over the sides of my body, worshipping my body. I had never felt so beautiful in my life.


	12. One family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this ending

The following weeks flew by in no time. Taron and I were more in love than ever and tried to not rub it into Jacob’s face to much. He totally got it though.

We decided that we would move in with Taron, since his flat was bigger and nicer and Jacob was looking forward to that. His eyes widened when he saw his new room, overlooking parts of Hampstead Heath.

Jacob started at a new school we signed him up at and luckily he found new friends there quickly. Taron and I spent every night together except for when he had to do night shoots which was rarely.

We invited Caroline over so she could finally meet Taron and her eyes widened when she saw him. He pulled her into a hug, of course and I smiled as I looked at her.

“You didn’t tell me he is that good looking” she whispered to me when Taron went into the kitchen to get us drinks.

I shrugged “What can I say?”

I smiled. I was beyond happy.

Caroline watched me and pointed her finger at me “You are one lucky woman. And he is totally smitten with you”

Smitten? Of course we were in love, but I wouldn’t put it like that.

“I don’t know” I said “I just enjoy where we are at right now”

“So Caroline” Taron came back from the kitchen and handed me and her a glass of red wine “How are you?”

She looked all flustered and I had to stifle a giggle. I couldn’t believe she was acting like this. She was never speechless.

“Oh I’m good” she said “Lots of work at the moment”

We sat down on the couch and Taron wrapped his arm around me.

“Michelle told me you work in banking?” he asked her.

She grimaced “Yeah. Not something I would choose again”

“Why not?” Taron asked.

“It’s so boring!” she laughed.

I smiled “Well at least it pays well!”

“That is true” she said.

We enjoyed a great evening together and Taron and Caroline seemed to get along great. I was so glad.

I brought her downstairs when she left that night

“Have a safe ride home!” I said as we hugged.

She smiled “You two are so in love and I’m so happy for you Elle!”

My smile widened “Thank you”

“I mean he barely let go of you” she laughed.

I hadn’t even realised. I probably was already used to it. And I loved it.

“Thanks Caroline” I smiled “Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure” she waved “Bye”

“Bye” I looked after her before closing the door.

“So what do you think?” I asked Taron as I sat down next to him again.

He instantly wrapped his arm around me again and I smiled.

“She’s really nice” he said

“That she is” I smiled

“I’m happy she is a good friend to you” he said quietly as he cupped my face in his hands.

I sighed. I loved him and his touch.

“I hope I’m as good as a friend to her as she is to me”

“Oh I’m sure of it” Taron smiled “You’re genuinely nice”

“Gee thanks” I laughed.

“What I wanted to say is –“ he sighed “You put the well being of others over your own. I love that about you, but you should also look after yourself more”

I smiled. He had such a way with words.

“Thank you” I could basically say the same thing about him.

He leaned in closer and his lips brushed against mine so softly. It was so familiar by now, yet my breath hitched every time. I kissed him back and we deepened the kiss. Every kiss felt like our first one, for whatever reason. But I wouldn’t want to change it. I was falling in love with him all over again.

“Take this to the bedroom?” he breathed out eventually.

I smiled and blushed as I got up and held out my hand.

He smirked and instead of taking it, he picked me up and I giggled.

He carried me to our bed as if I weighed nothing and lay me down before crawling on top of me. I lovd his body but more than that I loved the way he looked at me. So differently to when we were just friends. I could drown into his eyes, look back at him for ages.

“I love you” he whispered before he dragged his eyes away from mine and kissed the skin just between my neck and collarbone.

I sighed as I ran my hands through his hair as things turned more heated. I loved him so much. We had talked about children and I had agreed to try. There was nothing I wanted more than for Jacob to have a sibling. I had to learn what it was like to be an only child and I didn’t want that for my kid.

I moaned as we worshipped each other’s body. I would never get used to that and I didn’t want to.

I woke up in the morning and smiled when I felt Taron’s arm around my waist. I glanced over to him to find him looking at me.

“Good morning” I smiled

“Hey” he smiled back at me before dropping a kiss to my cheek.

Just as he wanted to pull away, I stopped him and brought his mouth to mine. We kissed for a while and as much as I loved having sex with him, this somehow felt more intimate.

We lay there for a while and enjoyed the alone time together.

Today was always weird for me but ever since I had Taron I knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

“You know I love you, right?” he said eventually.

My smile widened as I looked up to him “And I love you”

He looked back at me and there was worry written all over his features. What was wrong?

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He smiled lightly and the frown on his forehead cleared up.

“I know what day it is, you know?” he said ever so slowly.

I blinked a few times. How would he know?

“It’s the day you stopped texting or calling me. So I figured –“ he shrugged

I smiled lightly. I hadn’t realised but I loved him even more for remembering it.

“I know” I gulped “I’m sorry I just –“

“Hey” he put his finger on my lips “We went through this already. I love you”

I smiled and my belly flipped. I reached up to kiss him and he kissed me back. I really felt like the butterflies in my stomach would never leave. His naked body against mine had me all hot and bothered.

My hands went into his hair and I whined when he pulled away.

He chuckled. I didn’t know how he could remain self-control. I was a mess when he was around.

He looked into my eyes searchingly and I studied his beautiful green and brown eyes I would never get enough off.

“Marry me” he whispered.

My heart leaped in my throat and I blinked.

Wait, did he just -?

He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a tiny box.

I threw my hand to my mouth “Taron”

He smiled back at me as he opened the lid to reveal a beautiful, simple ring.

“I know this is early, but I have never been that sure of anything in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be a father to your son and hopefully to more children –“

My mind ran wild thinking about being pregnant with his baby.

“What do you say?” he whispered and I realised I had been caught up in my thoughts.

“Of course, I would love to marry you” I smiled and my voice quivered.

His mouth smashed to mine as soon as the words had left my mouth and I kissed him back. My soon to be husband and father of my children. Whether they were biologically his or not, I knew he would love them equally.

We pulled away eventually and he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on to my ring finger as my body was covered in goose bumps.

“I love it” I smiled.

“I’m glad” Taron said “Jacob helped me pick it out”

“Jacob?” I smiled.

“Yes. I needed his blessing to marry his mom” he caressed my cheek with his fingers.

My smile widened “What did he say?”

Taron shrugged playfully “He was pretty stoked if you ask me”

I wasn’t surprised. Jacob had loved Taron since day 1.

“I love you so much” I pushed a stray of hair out of his beautiful face. “And I can’t believe we will be a family”

My heart was beating out of my chest at that thought. The one thing I had always wanted.

“You’re my family” Taron whispered “And I can’t wait to grow old with you with our children by our side”

**One year later**

I gripped Taron’s hand so tightly I was afraid to break it. But he was so much stronger than I was, so I highly doubted it.

My whole body was covered in sweat and pain and I scrunched my eyes closed as I had another contraction.

“Push one more time she’s almost there”

I screamed as I did and pressed Taron’s hand even tighter.

I let out a breath when I opened my eyes and didn’t hear a baby scream.

“Just one more time” the doctor repeated.

Had she just lied to me? I would kill her after this.

“I love you so much babe” Taron kissed my temple.

I felt like he was more emotional than I was. I just wanted to get this over with, hold our baby in my arms.

“Taron, I –“ I was so incredibly exhausted.

Compared to giving birth the first time, this was a cake walk, because I had only been in labour 5 hours, but I still felt like crying.

“You’re so strong, Mrs. Egerton” he whispered

I smiled over to him and he seemed like an emotional mess.

I gasped when I felt another contraction pulling through my body full force and pushed as hard as I could.

I found this excruciating and embarrassing, but Taron had insisted on being here with me. It made me love him even more. Our families were waiting outside with our son, Jacob.

I heard a high-pitched scream and sighed in relief.

I glanced over to Taron and his eyes were focused on the baby. Our baby.

“Meet your daughter” the doctor smiled as they lay her on my chest, wrapped up in a blanket.

I smiled as I cradled her in my arms, so little and beautiful. She stirred a little.

I looked over to Taron and he had tears in his eyes as he slowly lifted his arm and put his hand on our baby.

I could tell something changed for him right then and there. She was now the most important human being and that was how it was supposed to be.

“She’s so tiny” he whispered, his voice breaking.

I smiled. Her weight and size were normal and I was so happy.

“Say Hi to daddy” I whispered as I kissed the top of her head.

“I’m the luckiest man alive” Taron whispered and I reached up and caressed his cheek. He was more emotional than I was and I loved it.

We intertwined our left hands, holding our baby close. I glanced at our wedding rings and smiled.

Lily Egerton was 11 years younger than her brother was and Jacob was proud to be a big brother now. And of course Taron was the best dad anyone could have hoped for. Even if he was unsure at first.

“You can hold her” I smiled when I handed her over to him the first time “It’s not like you will crush her”

Taron was so worried and so careful. He held her in his arms. He was a natural, of course. I watched him glance down at his daughter in awe as he caressed her cheek oh so lightly.


End file.
